One minute you’re a child with a best friend forever, the next you walk into a room full of people and assume only a handful are nice.
You truly grow up when you realise not everyone has your best interests. We are taught to always compete. We are labelled from a young age. The “clever one”, the “pretty one”, and the “funny one”.
It’s not about competing with the person opposite. You have to compete with yourself. Aim to be your best and you cannot do any more. Infact, if you compete against a person, you might win and then there will always be another.
Unfortunately, not everyone understands this concept; some people take their envy and twist it into negative malice. These are a few ways i have found that people try to break you, and how to react with each one.
1. The belittling
You have just opened up about your dream job or some exciting news; this person doesn’t want you to feel too good. They decide to mock or talk down to you in an attempt to lower your esteem. I am all for sarcasm, but sometimes a false humour is used to cover how awful they are being.
Honestly, being such a dreamer, I am beyond used to this. I have experienced family and friends criticise my decisions and do so in a way that makes me feel stupid. Sometimes no one cares until they see you doing well, and then they want to throw in their comments.
What to do
Simply keep going. Don’t argue. Don’t defend yourself. You know what you are doing and what you want. In a world full of people with dreams on the back-burner, it speaks volume about your character that you aim high. The best way to revenge these comments is to do you. Even if your plans do not all work out, you will live knowing you lived to the full and believed in your heart. That’s a great life to have!
2. The copier
Not just a highschool phase, copying can stem from a sinister route. I’m not talking about a person being inspired by your work or wanting to buy jeans they have seen you worn. That’s rather complimenting.
I’m talking about that person who copies purely to compete. Everything you do, they do as well to try to beat you at it. I have recently had someone who would do this and even to this day, I’m sure she still does. If she is reading this, PLEASE STOP!
What to do
Firstly, if you have someone that competitive, question whether they are actually your friend. Copying can be down to insecurity, so it’s important to know the difference. Truly, keep things to yourself. Don’t share information with a person not embracing your happiness. And don’t keep noticing. Just move on and focus on what you are doing. Worrying about others who do not care about you, is wasted energy. Besides, anyone copying and you are doing something right! Just block them!
3. The bragger
In today’s world, do we all kind of brag? Again there is a difference with people who love sharing their life and people who love rubbing it towards you.
Not always related to boosting self-esteem, bragging can occur due to the need to make you feel bad. They may ask you a question first and make your answer appear inadequate, or they make a point of comparing lives, persuading yours to look insignificant.
What to do
Keep your tone the same. Why let them affect you and if they have, Why show them? Don’t fake happiness or pretend you are uninterested, just stick your usual reactions. Nothing gets to a bragger more than knowing their bragging is not effective.
4. Negative Nancy
Apologies if you are called Nancy and you are positive!
Negatives like putting a big minus next to all your goals. However big or small, a negative wants you to know how unrealistic your desires are.
Mainly down to envy, they fear you achieving and setting out to do what they are afraid of.
What to do
Well, avoid sharing your positivity. It’s tempting to counteract and stand up for yourself when someone doubts your capabilities; often this does not deter them. Don’t give them the option of deciding whether to crush your thoughts, share your passions with people who inspire them.
5. The judgemental/down talkers
The biggest, I have resentment towards you and want you to fail, in my opinion.
Judgement is one of the worst. Beyond hypocritical, people who make themselves feel better by making others feel ashamed.
Alongside this category is the down talkers. Not only do they criticise, react negatively and belittle, they make you feel wrong. They take on an superior role. They target your intelligence. Down talkers can be conceited, they can attack you whilst pretending they are innocent. You can end up questioning your confidence, then questioning why you are questioning it. Any questions?
What to do
This is the one where I believe you should stand up for yourself. There is no such thing as a perfect human. Whoever decides to criticise you, are already in the wrong.
Be stronger than their weak opinions. Down talk especially, why entertain it? Cut the conversation. Your ears deserve more!
How many of these have you experienced? Please comment below and thank you for reading.
Peace, Love and Gin Xoxo