WHAT IS THE MOST INTIMATE ACT?

For me, it’s oral sex – sitting on a guy’s face. I wanted to say something more profound and deep – chatting all night, sharing my deepest secrets; nursing a lover back to health. But the minute I typed the question, the thought rummaged past my wondering desire to drink decaf coffee. Up close to someone’s ‘private parts’ – it’s surely a contender for the most intimate act – at least physical?

One person is in control; it’s a selfless thing to do in a vulnerable position. With sex, you’re both hopefully experiencing pleasure, swerving between how you feel and what they’re doing. Watching a person put aside their own needs to sexually fulfil you however – that’s such an open, power play.

  • A true act of intimacy must be when silence can linger. That’s why I’m not particularly fond of first dates at restaurants. Between glancing at menus, waiting for food and actually eating (the worst is listening to bread being crunched), it’s like you have to comprise 100 questions to keep chat going. If you can sit and walk with someone and not say a word – you’ll know your bond is close. More so if you stare at one another’s eyes.

Do we agree?? What’s your thoughts on intimacy ? Your favourite intimate act?

Get involved –

To the girl who doesn’t believe she deserves love…

You do!

Hey it’s me again, just thought I would give you the low down on what is happening in my life currently…. I have recently started a new job as a Student Support Liaison and also studying a degree in Business Management. I am also looking at taking a course in Journalism at college. Yes the goal is to manage a company and write articles in magazines… The dream. I am just an A* English Student who had Tumblr for way too longer, trying to make it in life.

Okay so the love life.. Fuck me, I don’t even know where to start. The craziest love story… Head over heels for this guy. It has been nearly a year and it’s really not that relationship where we are with each other 24/7. I have never got bored of this guy, He keeps me on my toes, we have our own lives and try and do date night once/twice a week. He makes my vagina skip , he gives me butterflies, he is just dreamy. I have found someone who I want to travel with, try new foods and play pranks on. He is different and we like different. Okay now back to topic….

To the girl who thinks she doesn’t deserve love,

I know you can’t keep a count of how many nights you have stayed up waiting for texts or calls, or both. Just let it pass… Trust me.

Go watch a movie, instead. Do your self care routines, Don’t believe in love until you’ve someone who says that you look beautiful even though you hate yourself. Wait for someone who’d write you letters just like that. FYI the guy I am with compliments me everyday and I have never had that.

Wait for someone who’d call you just because he is missing your voice. Eventually, you will cross paths with someone like that. At that moment, do not let him go.

Hold him close and let go of the clutches of your past. It barely matters if you think you don’t deserve love, because guess what, he knows that you do – and you deserve all the love there is in the universe. You have got this baby girl, I believe in you so believe in yourself.

You have a habit of giving up on people, don’t do that with him. Sing songs, even though you can’t. And he will join you midway. It’s always better to have some music in the background and it will bring out the silly side of you both making you feel comfortable.

Love will come and hit you out of nowhere. and when this happens, love starts living in your head rent-free. every small thing reminds you of them. the roses growing near your window sill are the exact shade of the t-shirt they wore yesterday, your favourite song sounds like it was made just for you two and apparently, both of you like coffee the same way.  The way their eyes crinkle when they laugh, or even how they turn the pages of a book, nothing they do is ever short of a masterpiece. when you’re with them, you’re simply standing in an art gallery, in awe of everything around you. and in those moments, you don’t dream of riches or fancy castles, all you want is the two of you, together, forever. 

Once you fall in love, you want to keep loving them, till that’s all that’s left around you. it’s crazy, but aren’t all the best things like that?

All you have to do is to wait. Never think you don’t deserve happiness, okay? And just one last thing – happiness is not synonymous for love. You will find love, someday. Believe.

Someone New?

Okay, So I am kinda seeing someone?? I really quite like him up until this point, so you know there’s going to be something wrong with him soon. Or he’ll just stop talking to me for what seems to be no good reason at all like so many of the rest have done before him. Shall we place our bets now?

I need to think of a good name for him. I’ll get to it later. Let’s get to the specifics: he’s a few inches taller than me (tick), Has tattoos (tick), When we first met he tipped me in the nightclub I work at (#awkward and tick). He’s the most caring and kindest I’ve ever met (tick), has the best sense of humour (double tick), and is actually super-cute when he’s not with the lads (massive tick!) And he mocks me and I love it.

We’ve taken some time to get to know each other, we have been on dates and we literally chat non-stop. The conversation flows smoothly, easy, nice. He’s pretty shy, though, I think. I laugh a lot when we’re talking, which is a really good sign. I laugh a lot when I am with him. I like this part of new relationships where there’s every chance he might still fuck off, so I’m enjoying it while I still can, but at the same time, my poor little head gets carried away by all the crazy coincidences and the little things we seem to have in common.

I like him, though. This isn’t an I-want-to-get-him-into-bed thing .. well… with this guy, I get butterflies. When my phone pings, I rush to it. I can’t not respond. I can’t not read what he has to say. We bounce off each other. He responds to things in a way I don’t expect, and I know I’m doing the same right back to him. This guy can handle my attitude, can handle my banter and can handle my tantrums/ listening to me moan (sexually as well). He stays up late to talk to me, we seem to have created this weird little bond, we’re already opening up to each other in a way that I don’t think I’ve done before with a guy. It’s weird, but I don’t dislike it. I fancy him, I have great banter with him, why not? What have I got to lose?

I kinda hope he doesn’t fuck off. I’ve got my fingers crossed that I’m giving him the same butterflies he’s giving me. Don’t you love it at this stage where you can get carried away with your own thoughts?

Sigh.

Rules For A Successful Break Up

Right girls, you want to come out of this alive then you’re going to need to think smart. Unless you want to be THAT girl that is begging on her knees for her boyfriend not to leave her, you need to do things the classy way, the smart way, the right way. You need to learn the rules of a successful breakup, written by the queen of break ups.

Are you ready? Sitting comfortably? Got yourself a cup of a tea and a nice Bourbon biscuit? Tissues handy?

1 – FACEBOOK UNFRIEND.

This needs to be done almost immediately. Make your Facebook page private so he can only see the things that you ‘accidentally’ set to public. AKA the photos that make you look beautiful, funny, skinny, well-styled, etc. You don’t want him to see those tagged photos of you looking like a fish from Friday night when you were trying to perfect your pout for the paparazzi…

This will also stop you from checking to see if he is online every five minutes. Which you will. We all do. Plus you won’t see photos of him out with girls (unless he has everything set to public at which point you should just go for step two) and wondering which one of them he’s sleeping with. Which you will. And you’ll ask him too. And it’ll be embarrassing because he’s probably actually not doing half the things you’ve made up in your head. You look crazy again. Completely nuts.

2 – FACEBOOK BLOCK.

When you’ve un-friended him and realised that you still can’t stop checking out his profile hoping that he posts something, (he doesn’t actually have his page on private, everything is public) you need to do the Facebook block. You won’t be able to send him any facebook messages that you’ll regret later on. Such as my one “Oi, you awake?” at 2:51am after a particularly drunken night. Luckily it didn’t send as I had no signal. No love-you’s, miss-you’s or anything like that… Just “Oi, are you awake?

Who said romance was dead?

Don’t be a mug – just block him. Trust me. Plus, you can only block and unblock once every 24 hours or whatever it is, which will stop you doing it every five minutes just to have a look, and he’ll see that you’ve un-blocked him by the way that your name comes up in his message feed. Have all your bases covered ladies.

Think of EVERYTHING.

3 – DELETE HIS NUMBER.

You may have stopped Facebooking him but that hasn’t stopped you from checking to see if he is online on Whatsapp every five minutes. Or whether he’s seen your latest iMessage. Why is he online on Whatsapp? Why are there no blue ticks? You were the only person he ever spoke to on that! Why is he online all the time? Who is he talking to? Has he moved on already?! WHY ISN’T HE READING YOUR MESSAGES?! You turn into a crazy bitch when you’re going through a breakup. When you delete his number, you can’t drunk call him, text him, Whatsapp him, etc. Plus if he has his privacy settings right (which he probably won’t), you’ll only be able to see when he was last online if the two of you are contacts. Getting rid of his number altogether is the only way you’re going to get through this. You WILL make that drunken call you promised yourself you wouldn’t, and you ARE going to see red and say all the things you didn’t want to when you saw he was online again and still didn’t reply to your last message. Prick.

4 – DELETE OLD MESSAGES.

You’ve done the number removal but you can still contact him if you’ve kept those old messages. You can just reply to the same thread. Of course, this is assuming you don’t know his number off the top of your head. But who knows phone numbers these days? I certainly don’t.

5 – GET RID OF PHOTOGRAPHS.

Don’t destroy them because one day, you’ll want to look back and smile. You wont believe that now but you will. Put them in that same memory box that you’ll put out of sight and out of mind. Take them out of the frames and off the walls and hide them. They’ll only make you cry if you don’t.

The worst of it is you won’t even notice that you have photos of him on your wall until months later where they happen to pop up in the back of a photo you’re trying to send of yourself to a potential new bae. Be prepared for that.

6 – CRY.

Just do it already. Do it in the privacy of your own bedroom, snuggled up in your bed. Cry on your friends if they’ll let you. It’s not a bad thing to cry. I don’t think people cry enough. Sometimes you just need a cup of tea and a good cry. If you feel the tears, let them flow. Stop trying to pretend you’re stronger than you are. Breakups suck. It hurts. It’s all cool. Let the snot flow freely.

7 – START A JOURNAL.

After a couple of weeks, your friends are going to get really bored of you talking about your ex. They are going to get annoyed at new stories of him with that skinny blonde at the party, or that fiery looking redhead at the local store. You’re gonna wanna talk about that shit. You’re going to want to rant about it… For hours.

Start a journal or do what I did and start a blog! Get it out somewhere, down on paper or furiously tapped out on your laptop. You never know – you might just create the next best seller!

Seriously though – your friends are going to get really pissed off sooner or later, and you are going to want to talk about this a lot. Why is he talking to her? How could he move on so quickly? Who does he think he is wanting his concert t-shirt back? Trust me on this one. Start writing that shit down. Plus, it’ll give you something to laugh about years later when you look back and realise that it wasn’t quite as dramatic as you thought it was at the time. See – you did survive without him! Woo hoo!

8 – HAVE DRUNKEN, MEANINGLESS SEX.

…But only when you’re sure it’s over. Completely sure. One million percent sure. Having sex with someone else does something to the relationship you HAD with your ex. It puts a line under everything. That’s it – you fucked someone else. You’re not just his anymore. When he has sex with you, he’s going to have that thought of someone else having sex with you in his head. If neither of you cheated and everything was nice and truthful throughout your breakup, having sex with someone else will put a strain you both if you ever get back together and you end up telling him.

9 – DO THE PRO’S & CON’S LIST.

…But only do it when you’re angry. You know the list – his good points versus his bad points. Working out which list is longer and whether or not you should get back together…

If you’re all loved up, missing him and crying, the list you write is going to be focusing on all the good things you miss about him and you won’t get the full picture. By all means do the good list, but leave his bad list until you are really angry and need to vent everything out – everything he ever did to piss you off. You’ll be surprised at how much your mind can be swayed just be being reminded of all those times he left you waiting, didn’t turn up, didn’t call or text you back, and was caught out chatting up other women. Plus there was that time he didn’t get you a birthday present. And who can forget that time he refused to go to the theme park with you because he “didn’t like them at all.

If you ever feel that breaking up wasn’t the right decision (even when it probably was), re-read that con’s list and realise why you broke up in the first place. An ex is always an ex for a reason. How many fairy tales have you heard that started with “Once upon a time, Barbie and Ken had been together for five years on and off…”?

10 – KEEP YOURSELF BUSY.

When you stop and think, you’ll hurt. You’ll cry. You’ll get angry and want to vent at him. You’ll message him. You’ll call him. You’re going to want to get really angry at him. You’re probably going to have some questions that he should answer. He should but he probably never will. Not honestly anyway. Screw it. Leave it. It’s not worth it. He’s not worth it. Keep yourself busy. Work on your website or clean your home. Take on some extra hours at work. Go to the gym. Hang out with friends. Go shopping. Redecorate. Spring-clean. Organise your wardrobe and sell the shit you don’t wear. Do whatever you gotta do. Just don’t stop. Don’t ever stop. When you stop, your heart will break and then you’ll cry and your mascara will run all down your face. Plus no one looks pretty when they cry.

11 – WIN THE BREAKUP WAR.

Go to the gym, get your hair cut, get a new tattoo, try a new look, learn a new skill or talent, buy more shoes, wear different clothes…

Winning the breakup war is simply a case of coming out of it better off than the other person; the ex. You need to put effort into that; effort, dedication and time. If you ever needed a great time to get to the gym (Or in our case during lockdown – workout from home) and start getting buff-ting, this is it! You can’t just go once and think that’s it either. You need to keep going. Keep at it. They say that it takes 12  weeks of working out before family and friends will start to notice the weight loss and change in body. That’s it – give yourself a three month goal and see who says what about your new physique? Win that breakup war! Be fit and give him something to miss and regret. Imagine how much better it would feel to turn him down knowing that you now look fit after losing those extra few pounds you put on while you were getting comfortable and eating too many Bourbon biscuits with him.

Would you rather just lie down and cry? No, I didn’t think so.

12 – SONGS.

Do not forget about the songs that are on your phone. All those little songs that remind you of him – they are going to cut you like a knife when you hear them on the way to work by accident, or when you are getting ready to go out with the girls. I cried when I heard “All of me” by John Legend… in public! Write a list of all the songs that remind you of him. Listen to them one more time. Cry it out. Get the Ben & Jerry’s to help you through it. Then remove them from your life. One by one, delete them. Fuck off. Click.

13 – START ONLINE DATING.

Right, I’m not telling you that you need to get under someone in order to get over someone else (although it doesn’t hurt), but online dating is actually the perfect distraction to help you through a breakup.

Every time I break up with someone, I go back onto my trusty TINDER account and start swiping, and I’m definitely not up for messaging anyone, but every once in a while someone will catch my eye and it’ll give me something to do for a few weeks – a little complimentary text-action to lift my spirits when the day has started with a nasty fight with the now-ex.

14 – DON’T TRY TO BE FRIENDS.

Right, after a year or so it might be possible but trying to be friends just a couple months after your breakup…? Nope, this friendship is never going to work. Not a chance. Not in a million years. You’re going to end up back in bed together with one of you taking the move as a mixed signal. You’ll end up breaking down and admitting how much you miss him. He’ll beg you not to leave. You’ve already gotten over the hardest part of your breakup… What’s the point in going right back to square one? He’ll pull on nights out and you’ll get upset watching him neck on with another girl, and when you even dare try to move on and get over him, he’ll put on the waterworks and accuse you of being a cold-hearted bitch that never gave a shit about him. Honestly guys and girls – friends will not work. It’s like someone killing your dog and then letting you keep it stuffed. What’s the point? Be civil yes! But not friends!

So there you have them – the rules you need to know to get through a successful breakup. If you can even call a breakup successful….?

If you follow these rules, you will come out of this looking every inch the classy, sophisticated, dignified woman you are. And let’s face it, us girlies need all the help we can get!

First Date? What NOT to do…

Now I’ve been single I feel I can look back over my dating experiences and laugh. Or cry. Some of the things I’ve done … I just shake my head and wonder why I ever acted so stupidly. One of those times was a first date I once went on, my first first-date after the end of a three-year relationship. Not just a funny story for me (now), I feel it also serves as a warning.

HERE’S WHAT NOT TO DO ON A FIRST DATE …

*Based on my experiences obviously. Don’t go all ‘feminist’ on me. 

He was cute – big blue eyes, a nice white smile, friendly words and all the right compliments. I was insecure, unsure, and drunk before I even got there and it was a disaster right from the get-go.

What NOT to do on a first date #1: Seriously overdress because you didn’t do your research.

Instead: Do your research. If I’d done that, I’d have realised it was karaoke night in a local pub, and my sassiest dress with too-high heels wouldn’t have been appropriate. It was a jeans and flats kind of date.

The plan had been to meet at the pub, head back to his for the dinner he’d cooked, and then see what happened from there. That didn’t happen. My already-drunk self decided that another bottle of wine was on the menu once I’d arrived at our meeting place, and he had no problems matching me drink-for-drink. I’m pretty sure I paid for all of them except the first one. It was an expensive night. I drank because I felt uncomfortable. I was overdressed and I didn’t really want to be there. I had fun with him but friends-fun. Get-drunk-with-the-boys fun. Not I-heart-him fun. The more I drank, the better I felt so the drinks just kept coming. Wine turned into shots of Jagermeister and before I knew it, we were being thrown out at closing time whilst protesting loudly that we wanted more Sambuca.

What NOT to do on a first date #2: Get drunk.

Instead: Don’t drink before you go and if you do, only have one glass of wine. In fact, maybe even make it a spritzer. Don’t be too-tipsy before you even arrive. Try not to turn into a blithering mess. Try not to turn him into a blithering mess either.

We headed back to his place which was “just around the corner” and the rest of the night is very much a blur. I remember snippets — arguing in the kitchen because he wanted us to get into the same bed together and I wasn’t sure how I felt about it, and hunting through his cupboards trying to find glasses to pour more alcohol into.

What NOT to do on a first date #3: Go back to his place … blind drunk.

Instead: Be aware that going back to his place certainly does look like you’re jumping into his bed even when you have no intentions of doing so. No, I know it’s not right for a man to assume but he will. Mine did. And because he did and we ended up arguing about it, I felt the need to put-out even though I didn’t have a sexual attraction to him. Also, as a side note, don’t continue to drink …

I remember moaning because he’d promised me food and there was none, and I also remember us being in his bed, a thin beam of light flashing through the crack in the curtains, indicating it was getting light outside and we’d been drinking for far too long.

What NOT to do on a first date #4: Ignore the fact that you need to eat, especially when you’re drinking that much.

Instead: I should have eaten before I left to meet him but I didn’t because he’d promised me we’d be going for dinner. Never trust a man when he says he will feed you. Maybe we should have made our way to the kebab shop on the way home …?

I remember snippets of being in his bed, X-rated flashbacks of things I wish hadn’t happened. I’ll tell you about those another day, the x-rated version of what NOT to do on a first date perhaps?

What NOT to do on a first date #5: Pump your date with THAT much alcohol and be surprised when he gets limp-dick. (Which I think pretty much gives you the rest of X-rated story anyway …)

Instead: DON’T DRINK THAT MUCH!

The point I’m trying to make here is that my failure to do the proper pre-first-date checks resulted in a situation that could very easily have been taken out of my control. In fact, I don’t think I had control at any point of the night.

My pre-drinking made me braver so I wore the wrong outfit because I didn’t do my research and check out the pub we were meeting at. I felt uncomfortable because of my outfit which meant I drank more to feel more comfortable. That clouded my judgement because I ended going home with a man I didn’t know that well — a man who could have done anything to me. I then slept with that man – a man I felt no sexual attraction to, and following on from that I had a hangover that lasted for days. He was “well into me” and harassed me non-stop before I finally told him we shouldn’t have slept together, it was a result of too much alcohol, I didn’t think of him in a ‘boyfriend’ way, and although I had wanted to remain friends with him, I felt too much had happened. Let’s just leave it at that.

He called me names, really harsh ones too, and the next time I saw him, about a year later, I actually threw my drink at hime.

Yep, that happened. In a night club, In front of people. People saw. Awkward. Top marks for the amateur dramatics!

He was a nice guy, a decent guy, up until the point I slept with him and binned him off so spectacularly. He was in the wrong for arguing with me when I said I didn’t want to sleep with him, and he was also in the wrong for saying those horrible things to me when I told him it was just a drunken mistake. At the same time, I was in the wrong for treating him like that. I knew he was ‘into me’, I shouldn’t have gone home with him. I definitely shouldn’t have slept with him. Yet I did. Why?

If I could go back and tell my 18 year old self anything, it would be to not drink as much as I did. I rarely drink now, and when I do, I make bad decisions.

These days I take a much calmer approach to dating. I don’t want to meet in a pub, or anywhere remotely close to the drinking scene. When I get nervous and drink, I drink to excess even when I try not to. Three tiny glasses of wine with lemonade can have the same effect on me as three bottles when I feel anxious, and because my inhibitions are lowered, I make choices I just wouldn’t make sober.

Who knows what might have happened if I hadn’t got that drunk that night? Maybe I would have given him a chance and a budding romance might have flourished? Perhaps we would have stayed friends? Maybe he would have always hated me for binning him off, regardless of whether I slept with him or not. I don’t know what might have happened but I do know this much – he was a story I wish I didn’t have to tell. It was a pointless exercise, another notch on my bedpost, and for nothing. We didn’t date.

So here’s what NOT to do on a first date – get so drunk you couldn’t remember his name and needed to double-check whether or not you actually slept together when you woke up the next morning.

What I’ve Learnt Being Single & Dating

I’ve changed so much over the last 6 months or however long it’s been since I became single, and the stuff I’ve learnt about not only myself but relationships and life and everything that comes with it has been very much welcomed into my brain that had become a place that thought it was normal to not receive a text for 5 days from my own boyfriend.

I decided to put together a list of what I’ve learnt, and I hope it serves you well, whether you’re in a committed relationship, or you’re in a committed relationship with a bottle of Echo Falls (me).

1) Reliability is Good – When you’re in a toxic, one sided relationship, it’s so draining that you almost try and make yourself think it’s ‘fun’ and ‘exciting’ and it’s a ‘chase’. It’s your way of dealing with it and managing to get through. Throughout the last few months, I have come to realise what’s actually fun and exciting is reliability. Knowing someone likes you and wants to see you, and will tell you that, is so much better and more satisfying than some little prick who only WhatsApps you when he wants something, and yes, that can include someone you’re in a relationship with. Not knowing where you stand with someone isn’t stimulating, but reliability is.

2) It Really Does Happen For a Reason – In the midst of my breakup, I really did think my life was over. I was literally devastated, and could not physically foresee a time where I’d ever feel real happiness again. Little did I know, that breakup would be the best thing that would ever happen to me. It’s taught me to try and look past awful times and situations, because you don’t know the positive things they can actually bring.

3) Game Playing Is Not For Me – I finally got thrown back into the world of dating after being engaged, and all this has taught me is that I really cannot be fucked with game playing. I’m (unfortunately) not a teenager who has years of mistakes to make and time to waste with men who think it’s absolute lols to post pictures of them draped over girls in nightclubs, not text me for 4 working days and have their phone glued to them no matter where they go for fear I might see they’re messaging 280 other females from the general Somerset area. Not texting back for an entire day just to play ‘hard to get’ when you’re a man in his late twenties/early thirties is not something on my agenda anymore huns; they are probably the same men that think periods are disgusting and that ‘natural women’ are best but they still expect flawless skin, long hair and lashes, a perfect tan, big lips, boobs and bum and a tiny waist. Off you fuck Steve.

4) Don’t Take Shit – It’s best to nip any shit in the bud immediately; if it’s really bad then get rid, if it’s rectifiable then a firm warning and one more strike and you’re out rule should do the trick. When you’re single for a while, you get comfortable with yourself and basically make an internal decision that you’re fine by yourself and anyone who’s gonna change that can’t bring any unnecessary stress to your life.

5) Be 100% Yourself – I have changed myself so many times for men. Dressed to please them, worn less makeup, read books I don’t like, watched films I hate, listened to music that I despise, all to impress them, fit into their mould and make them want me. I did it with my exes, and I won’t do it again, because if a relationship is based on false pretences it will never work anyway.  I love music many would describe as ‘shit’, watch cringey films, slather myself in layers of fake tan, swear quite a lot, drink prosecco like there’s about to be a world shortage, and have a blog I document my life on. If Daniel, 23 from Burnham doesn’t like that then it’s his loss because when I stop eating shit, drinking so much, work out and calm down a bit when I drink I’m gonna be an absolute CATCH.

6) If You’re Not Feeling It, Don’t Go There – I’ve gone on dates with people and been speaking to people who are seemingly ‘perfect’ for me, except I am just not feeling it. Everyone around me has been like ‘Oh just go on another date with him!’ or ‘He seems really nice, just see him again and you’ll end up liking him’. What I’ve realised is I literally don’t have to see anyone I don’t want to see, I don’t owe anyone anything, and if it’s not there for me then it’s just not there, which brings me onto my next point…

7) When You Know, You Know – I used to think my feelings of discomfort, or not being sure about somebody, and thinking hopefully they’d start treating me better/change their behaviour were normal and that I’d be 100% sure about them soon. I have learnt over the last few months that you know when someone is right for you and you know if they’re meant to be in your life or not. People ask ‘But how do you know if someone is right for you?’, but you honestly do just know. They slot into your life easily, make you feel comfortable and happy, and you’re content and not stressed from dealing with someones shit all the time.

8) You Deserve More – I think when we’ve gone through months or even years of being treated like shit,we become accustomed to it, we think it’s what we deserve and that it’s normal. We go out looking for people who will continue to treat us like that, to reaffirm our own warped view that we aren’t worthy of normal love. I’ve learnt over the course of the end of last year and the start of this year, that I do deserve someone who doesn’t treat me like a twat, spends time with me, priorities me amongst other things in their life, isn’t wasting my time and genuinely cares about me. I literally reached a point where I was like ‘Nope, no more, if I get together with one more time wasting prick I will move to Kathmandu and take up cross stitching cos I can’t deal with this shit anymore’, and I’ve vowed to keep that promise to myself no matter what.

9) You Don’t Actually Need Anyone – I have realised I really, really don’t need anyone romantically involved in my life unless they benefit it rather than add stress and negativity. If they make me happy and add good things to my life then great, but if not then…bye felicia.

10) Valuing the Experiences – I have gotten to a place where I am glad of all the shit in the past. I’m happy I was cheated on, treated like shit, been called every name under the sun, been dumped – I never thought I would, but it’s made me  away more resilient person, taught me exactly what I don’t want in my life and the kind of people I don’t want, and also given me a much higher sense of self worth. I am so glad it all happened, as it makes you appreciate meeting someone who wouldn’t dream of treating you like that, and it makes you value being out of those truly horrible situations.

I hope you enjoyed this blog post, no matter what your current situation.