I am A Difficult Woman – But I love Being A Difficult Woman

Females are secretly celebrated in society for being kind, gentle and delicate, any sign of weakness and a woman is usually taken advantage of. Though I haven’t mastered the art of saying no and standing up for every belief, I am developing the strength of a difficult woman. I’m beginning to stop letting others voice their opinions, I’m growing weary of one-sided friendships. A difficult woman is inspirational. History celebrates women like Marilyn Monroe who fought her studio bosses and Elizabeth I who refused to marry and give away her power. Women who go for want they want and defy anyone who tells them they can’t. It’s the ultimate female empowerment description. Why is it still negative for women to possess such levels of ambition?

Being a difficult woman doesn’t mean I’m not nice or thoughtful. It doesn’t mean I don’t take pleasure in cooking for a man or taking care of them. Growing up quiet and unable to handle confrontation, I felt taken for granted by my closest friends. Going out of my way to visit them, attending their activities when they found excuses for not agreeing to mine.

A couple of years ago, I cancelled out relationships and started putting my thoughts first. I spent my early Teens always worrying about men and whether I’d find a husband and someone willing to love me. Now I realise the shortness of my time and the need to put my dreams first. I am a difficult woman. I’m not 100% there and have a way to go before I master business. Yet I continue to voice my opinions, follow the path I want and not let my natural kindness stand in my way.

I have gone through shit and come out smelling of roses, I have kept my head held high when situations have been tough, I have confronted people who I didn’t think I would ever cross. Being a strong woman does not define who you are!

Difficult women answer back. Difficult women make themselves heard. They don’t back down. They’re loud. They challenge the status quo. They’re not all that easily pleased. They hustle. They’re the ones who get called headstrong (ugh). In men, similar traits are called, variously: ambition, drive, discernment. Think about it. When, pray tell, was the last time you heard a man get called difficult? Being difficult is really “another way of saying female and ‘brave enough to express the full range of one’s humanity.’ ”

Once upon a time, I used to think it was purely a compliment to be called “nice.” “But you’re so nice,” someone might say: “I can’t ever imagine you getting into an argument.” Or, “I can’t ever imagine you having a dark side,” or, “I can’t imagine you writing a book with a murder in it.” I’m sure the people who said it always meant well. But actually what they were doing was putting me into a box. Because society loves its boxes. Women, in particular, are often categorized as one thing or the other. You’re a nice woman. Or you’re . . . difficult.

Difficult women are “ambitious and bold, adventurous and emotional, brainy and defiant, incorrigible and outlandish, determined and badass.” They are about pleasing themselves as much as those around them. They don’t say yes simply because it is expected of them. As a result, they might put a few backs up, but they end up getting what they really want. (As a side note: You can guarantee that difficult women have better sex.)

Really, we should be allowed to be both “nice” and “difficult.” We’re not necessarily one thing or the other—we are all made up of many different and often contradictory, conflicting parts. And it’s definitely true that the world could do with people being a bit nicer to each other. So this isn’t to bash “niceness,” per se—but it is to say don’t be nice at the expense of your sense of self-worth. Difficult women never do that—and that’s why I love them. Because being difficult is also, crucially, about loving yourself.

Learn To Love Yourself.

Hi Guys,

Now we are heading into the New year, I thought I would write a blog post on How To Love Yourself. Learn to love yourself more when we go into 2021.

Your love will keep you warm on days when everything feels cold, from a cup of hot coffee to your best friend’s touch. It will let you take a break and stop you from being too hard on yourself and make you believe that you are more than your terrible past and failed relationships. Loving yourself will soothe your back gently while you face your fears and not let your anxiety win and buy you an ice-cream on a bad day and applaud at every little step you take forward. 

Your love will keep your heart pumping with happiness and not let any negative thought invade your beautiful mind. When you sing your favourite songs and dance your heart out your eyes shine the brightest. It will make you realise that you are enough and as long as you have your own back, nothing can stop you from conquering the world. Your love will teach you to not be just kind to others but to yourself too. it will tell you how to love right. 

To love yourself the way you love others, You need to follow these steps.

Distance yourself from the people that make you feel like you’re not good enough. You know deep down in your heart if someone isn’t good for you, so live your truth. 

You slowly stop comparing yourself to others. Everyone has their own journey, and you could be comparing your life to someone you know nothing about. Live your own life at your own pace. Live life on your own terms. Remember no one knows what happens behind closed doors.

You learn how to be kind to yourself. Don’t put yourself down. Don’t let one negative thought become the way you feel about yourself. Try your very best to turn a negative into a positive; and watch how quickly your mindset can change. 

You take care of yourself. Go for more walks, or find something that you enjoy, something that makes you feel good about yourself, something that makes you come home to yourself, and try and do it a few times a week. Try to turn toxic habits into new ones that are good for you and your mind. 

You start to deeply think about the people you spend time with. Are they toxic? Do they bring you down? Do you feel like you are worth more than the way they make you feel? It might be time to evaluate the kind of people you are surrounding yourself with and align yourself with people that lift you up and appreciate you. 

You unfollow people on social media that make you feel like you need to look a certain way or you are constantly comparing yourself to. It’s not weak. It’s called seIf-preservation, and it’s powerful. 

You learn how to stand up for yourself. Take control of a situation when you feel like you are being taken advantage of. It might be uncomfortable at first, but once you start to stand up for yourself you will learn to respect yourself so much more over time. 

You understand that loving yourself is a process. It’s not going to happen overnight. Be patient with yourself, and give yourself the time you need to heal and grow to love who you are on the inside and on the outside. Don’t let anyone stand in the way of the person you are becoming.

If you need any more tips you can comment/ email me annonymously.

All my love,

Peace, Love and Gin Xoxox

Know Your Worth

I wouldn’t classify myself as a hardcore Drake fan but If #DrakeTaughtMe anything, it was something I believed in long before he made it a hot line in a hot song. “Know Yourself, Know Your Worth

In today’s world, many people are having trouble discovering themselves. They are lost and trying to find someone or something to save them from pain, suffering and sorrow. In order for someone to discover self-worth, you must first look within. If you don’t take the initial step, why should you expect anyone to follow and help you?

This process can be lengthy and emotional, however, it’s mandatory if you want to see improvement in this area of your life. Being comfortable with who you are is everything, it’s your personal blueprint and foundation of self-worth. Without knowing exactly who you are, receiving and accepting love and happiness will be challenging. Settling and disappointment will be inevitable.

I have a message for you: Create YOUR own lane. Run YOUR own race. Life is not about keeping up with The Kardashians. Believe in yourself and live the happy life you want without thinking about what others will say or do. They will say regardless.

Peace, Love and Gin xo