My Definition Of Toxic

Hey me again… ever since lockdown I feel like we are all trying to get our shit together … I have been so quiet , literally hibernating to meet deadlines and focus on studying for my first exam! Scary I know… not prepared at all. But anyway here I am.. everyone seems to throw the word toxic round like it doesn’t mean anything. I am going to be writing about what it means to me and how I define the word “toxic”.

Urban dictionary definition of “toxic” Adjective used to describe usually very negative person, that bitch about everything, spread unnecessary hate or just talk shit about others. Googles definition of “toxic” very harmful or unpleasant in a pervasive or insidious way. But toxic is a lot more than those definitions, do you agree?

My definition of toxic is when someone has hurt you so much to the point where you are just tired of it, but you do not want to pay any attention to it as to you they are a “good person” and in some ways you love them relationship or not. You are willing to keep getting hurt by the same person hoping that some day they will change… but they don’t. You start thinking about bad things about yourself, thinking you are not worth it and you start losing your worth.. that is toxic.

Toxic is when they start abusing you physically,mentally and emotionally but you don’t care because you want to keep loving them, you want to make them a better person. Toxic is when they stop putting effort into you, they stop talking to you, they don’t want to see you, they don’t care about you. You need effort, time and to feel appreciated by the ones surrounded by you. You got to love yourself before loving anyone else, caring about yourself before anyone else is not toxic. But letting someone control you and who you are is.. don’t let nobody tell you what you can and cannot do.

YOU ARE YOUR OWN PERSON. You are not them and you will never be like them you are yourself and if someone does not like it well they do not deserve you. It is crazy how a person can hurt you and you make feel so little like your feelings are not appreciated. It is crazy how they can affect you and your future.. but it does not always have to be like that. It is also crazy how a person can hurt you and not give a damn, no matter what nobody’s lives are perfect.

We get knocked down lower then we have ever been before just so we can climb higher than we have ever have. Do not lose faith in yourself entirely, there are so many people in the world out there, sometimes it is okay to take a break from the world and focus on yourself so you can come back better than ever. If this pandemic has taught me anything.. everything works both ways, stop putting effort in if you do not get anything back in relationships, families, friendships.

Do not let toxic people stop you from being happy, living your life and getting what you want. Chase your dreams.

Do you feel the same, is this what toxic means to you? Do you have someone in your life that is giving off bad energy and coming across toxic? remember you are your own person!!

Peace, Love and Gin xoxo

I am A Difficult Woman – But I love Being A Difficult Woman

Females are secretly celebrated in society for being kind, gentle and delicate, any sign of weakness and a woman is usually taken advantage of. Though I haven’t mastered the art of saying no and standing up for every belief, I am developing the strength of a difficult woman. I’m beginning to stop letting others voice their opinions, I’m growing weary of one-sided friendships. A difficult woman is inspirational. History celebrates women like Marilyn Monroe who fought her studio bosses and Elizabeth I who refused to marry and give away her power. Women who go for want they want and defy anyone who tells them they can’t. It’s the ultimate female empowerment description. Why is it still negative for women to possess such levels of ambition?

Being a difficult woman doesn’t mean I’m not nice or thoughtful. It doesn’t mean I don’t take pleasure in cooking for a man or taking care of them. Growing up quiet and unable to handle confrontation, I felt taken for granted by my closest friends. Going out of my way to visit them, attending their activities when they found excuses for not agreeing to mine.

A couple of years ago, I cancelled out relationships and started putting my thoughts first. I spent my early Teens always worrying about men and whether I’d find a husband and someone willing to love me. Now I realise the shortness of my time and the need to put my dreams first. I am a difficult woman. I’m not 100% there and have a way to go before I master business. Yet I continue to voice my opinions, follow the path I want and not let my natural kindness stand in my way.

I have gone through shit and come out smelling of roses, I have kept my head held high when situations have been tough, I have confronted people who I didn’t think I would ever cross. Being a strong woman does not define who you are!

Difficult women answer back. Difficult women make themselves heard. They don’t back down. They’re loud. They challenge the status quo. They’re not all that easily pleased. They hustle. They’re the ones who get called headstrong (ugh). In men, similar traits are called, variously: ambition, drive, discernment. Think about it. When, pray tell, was the last time you heard a man get called difficult? Being difficult is really “another way of saying female and ‘brave enough to express the full range of one’s humanity.’ ”

Once upon a time, I used to think it was purely a compliment to be called “nice.” “But you’re so nice,” someone might say: “I can’t ever imagine you getting into an argument.” Or, “I can’t ever imagine you having a dark side,” or, “I can’t imagine you writing a book with a murder in it.” I’m sure the people who said it always meant well. But actually what they were doing was putting me into a box. Because society loves its boxes. Women, in particular, are often categorized as one thing or the other. You’re a nice woman. Or you’re . . . difficult.

Difficult women are “ambitious and bold, adventurous and emotional, brainy and defiant, incorrigible and outlandish, determined and badass.” They are about pleasing themselves as much as those around them. They don’t say yes simply because it is expected of them. As a result, they might put a few backs up, but they end up getting what they really want. (As a side note: You can guarantee that difficult women have better sex.)

Really, we should be allowed to be both “nice” and “difficult.” We’re not necessarily one thing or the other—we are all made up of many different and often contradictory, conflicting parts. And it’s definitely true that the world could do with people being a bit nicer to each other. So this isn’t to bash “niceness,” per se—but it is to say don’t be nice at the expense of your sense of self-worth. Difficult women never do that—and that’s why I love them. Because being difficult is also, crucially, about loving yourself.

I Am The Ultimate Judge Of Myself No One Else Is! Self Love Is The Goal

I AM THE ULTIMATE JUDGE OF MYSELF – NO ONE ELSE IS! I can only control my behavior and actions. I need to LOVE ME!

Self love is so important. Because when you’re all alone and it’s 3 am and you’re crying, who’s going to be there for you?obviously yourself. You have to pick yourself up and find the strength to carry on, at the end of the day, you’re all you’ve got.

The whole self love thing is good and all but some people can’t fathom being loved. They can’t imagine there being anything good about them. So they can’t simply just stop doing unhealthy things, there’s a process. 

Before self love you have to have self tolerance and self neutrality. 
If you can’t say “I love my body!” say “my body gets me from place to place.”
If you can’t say “I’m beautiful,” begin by shutting down the “I’m ugly” thoughts and saying “I’m a person.”
If you can’t say “I’m valuable” begun by shutting down the “I’m worthless” thoughts and say “all people deserve basic respect, and I’m a person.”

If you can’t say “I’m important,” or “I’m kind” say “I am the one who waters my plant every week” or “I am the one who tips the kind bartender down the street” or “I am the one who makes sure my dog does not eat plastic” or “I am the one who leaves long comments on people’s posts.”

You can be kind, be gentle, be loving, be inspiring, but refuse to let anyone walk over you. Find your worth, and after you do, you’ll start holding yourself up to a higher standard.

This will cause you to start holding people up to a higher standard than you’ve ever done because you know you deserve more than what has been given to you in the past.

You can be kind but be nasty against anything that will bring you down. You can be loving but detest hate. You can be inspiring but be uninspired by anything that does that match to your level.

But most importantly, be kind to yourself. Be gentle to yourself. Be loving to yourself. Inspire yourself. You’ve been through alot. You’ve learned alot of valuable lessons and you’ll learn even more. You’re strong and capable of anything you put yourself up to. You’re everything you need.

Your life speaks louder than your voice ever can. How we live and how we treat people is who we really are – not the things we claim to do or be. Let how you live your life be a testament to who you really are.

I will tell you again and again:

Choose the life you want and run in that direction.

Don’t settle for anything else.

Trust the next chapter because you are the author.

How People Try To Break You

One minute you’re a child with a best friend forever, the next you walk into a room full of people and assume only a handful are nice.

You truly grow up when you realise not everyone has your best interests. We are taught to always compete. We are labelled from a young age. The “clever one”, the “pretty one”, and the “funny one”.

It’s not about competing with the person opposite. You have to compete with yourself. Aim to be your best and you cannot do any more. Infact, if you compete against a person, you might win and then there will always be another.

Unfortunately, not everyone understands this concept; some people take their envy and twist it into negative malice. These are a few ways i have found that people try to break you, and how to react with each one.

1. The belittling

You have just opened up about your dream job or some exciting news; this person doesn’t want you to feel too good. They decide to mock or talk down to you in an attempt to lower your esteem. I am all for sarcasm, but sometimes a false humour is used to cover how awful they are being.

Honestly, being such a dreamer, I am beyond used to this. I have experienced family and friends criticise my decisions and do so in a way that makes me feel stupid. Sometimes no one cares until they see you doing well, and then they want to throw in their comments.

What to do

Simply keep going. Don’t argue. Don’t defend yourself. You know what you are doing and what you want. In a world full of people with dreams on the back-burner, it speaks volume about your character that you aim high. The best way to revenge these comments is to do you. Even if your plans do not all work out, you will live knowing you lived to the full and believed in your heart. That’s a great life to have!

2. The copier

Not just a highschool phase, copying can stem from a sinister route. I’m not talking about a person being inspired by your work or wanting to buy jeans they have seen you worn. That’s rather complimenting.

I’m talking about that person who copies purely to compete. Everything you do, they do as well to try to beat you at it. I have recently had someone who would do this and even to this day, I’m sure she still does. If she is reading this, PLEASE STOP!

What to do

Firstly, if you have someone that competitive, question whether they are actually your friend. Copying can be down to insecurity, so it’s important to know the difference. Truly, keep things to yourself. Don’t share information with a person not embracing your happiness. And don’t keep noticing. Just move on and focus on what you are doing. Worrying about others who do not care about you, is wasted energy. Besides, anyone copying and you are doing something right! Just block them!

3. The bragger

In today’s world, do we all kind of brag? Again there is a difference with people who love sharing their life and people who love rubbing it towards you.

Not always related to boosting self-esteem, bragging can occur due to the need to make you feel bad. They may ask you a question first and make your answer appear inadequate, or they make a point of comparing lives, persuading yours to look insignificant.

What to do

Keep your tone the same. Why let them affect you and if they have, Why show them? Don’t fake happiness or pretend you are uninterested, just stick your usual reactions. Nothing gets to a bragger more than knowing their bragging is not effective.

4. Negative Nancy

Apologies if you are called Nancy and you are positive!

Negatives like putting a big minus next to all your goals. However big or small, a negative wants you to know how unrealistic your desires are.

Mainly down to envy, they fear you achieving and setting out to do what they are afraid of.

What to do

Well, avoid sharing your positivity. It’s tempting to counteract and stand up for yourself when someone doubts your capabilities; often this does not deter them. Don’t give them the option of deciding whether to crush your thoughts, share your passions with people who inspire them.

5. The judgemental/down talkers

The biggest, I have resentment towards you and want you to fail, in my opinion.

Judgement is one of the worst. Beyond hypocritical, people who make themselves feel better by making others feel ashamed.

Alongside this category is the down talkers. Not only do they criticise, react negatively and belittle, they make you feel wrong. They take on an superior role. They target your intelligence. Down talkers can be conceited, they can attack you whilst pretending they are innocent. You can end up questioning your confidence, then questioning why you are questioning it. Any questions?

What to do

This is the one where I believe you should stand up for yourself. There is no such thing as a perfect human. Whoever decides to criticise you, are already in the wrong.

Be stronger than their weak opinions. Down talk especially, why entertain it? Cut the conversation. Your ears deserve more!

How many of these have you experienced? Please comment below and thank you for reading.

Peace, Love and Gin Xoxo

How To Make The Most Of Your Twenties…

Some would argue that your twenties are the best years of your life. And then those of us in our twenties would disagree… Why is that? Well, your twenties are confusing and expensive. Mostly expensive. Many of us are still working tirelessly at jobs that pay us nothing, all while trying to pay back thousands upon thousands in student loan debts.  Now don’t get me wrong, I’m about to be 24 this year and I feel very blessed for the life I have today. However, that doesn’t mean it’s always been a walk in the park; at least not the way it’s portrayed in movies. All the romantic comedies star a woman in her late twenties who’s working as a senior editor for a high-end magazine and living in a lush apartment in the city. How the f*** did she land that gig? Basically, we’re searching for answers on how to make sense of this messy life we’re leading. And in today’s post, I’m going to share with you some ways to make the most of your twenties.

Be Willing To Embarrass Yourself

It’s taken me a while, but I’ve learned to accept the fact that sometimes I’m super awkward. And sometimes I embarrass myself with what I say, do, or the questions I ask. And you know what? That’s OK. You’re never going to become a better person if you let the fear of failure or embarrassment take over your life. If you have something to say, say it.

Don’t Waste Your Time In A Job You Hate

Sometimes you need to work a job you hate because you need to make ends meet, I get it. However, you’re far too young to allow yourself to become complacent in a job that isn’t fulfilling. There’s nothing worse than waking up every morning and dreading the drive to work. Find a job that excites you! We have this amazing thing called the internet. There are endless opportunities out there, you just have to be willing to go out and find them.

Determine Your Non-Negotiables

This goes for your personal life and your professional life. What are the things that you’re just not willing to settle for? Determining those things will improve your happiness tenfold. I never did this until recently and believe me, it’s well worth it.

Choose Your Friends Wisely

Having genuinely good friends who will be there for you no matter what is so important. Surround yourself with good people, and don’t be afraid to walk away from a toxic friendship.

Be Honest

Be honest with yourself and your relationships. Accept when you’re wrong, listen to other’s advice and just be a good person. Period.

Travel

Visit as many places as you can, experience life before it is too late! Fall in love with nature, you will not be disappointed.

Thanks for stopping by, friends! I hope you found this helpful.

Peace,Love and Gin xoxo

Self Care Essentials During Lockdown

Hi All, I hope you are well?

With Mental Health being a massive crisis during lockdown, I thought I would gather some self care essentials to help you throughout lockdown. It isn’t for everyone but I promise if you try these, you will be feeling better than what you were and it will help your routine.

ESSENTIAL OILS

Essential oils are a must have self care essential, I mean it says it in the name! I have a few favorite scents and I have come to realize that i associate them all with an activity and what they are meant for.For example, when I am writing blog post I have peppermint and rosemary in my diffuser ready to keep me on task while making my room smell amazing! 

BOOKS

One way that I not only motivate myself but also remind myself of how great I am is by reading inspirational books. I love to read in general, but on my really chill days I love to pick up my book on quotes from great women or affirmations (that I probably should have been saying all week long lol).

BATH ESSENTIALS

If you have not been able to take a GOOD and NICE relaxing bubble bath in a while, you are missing out! Courtesy of the quarantine of 2020 I formed many good habits, bubble baths being one of them. I would listen to music on my speaker, place my mask on and let the aroma of the bath soothe me. This is a must to add to your self care essentials that you simple cannot do with out! It’s super affordable and last forever- seriously I have a bottle from April STILL!

COMFY PAJAMAS/SOCKS

There is no better way to spend your self care day than in your most comfy of clothes which is why I had to include them in the list of self care essentials. Personally, I could wear shorts and a tee but I know for others the clothes have to be top notch. I love comfy, fuzzy socks! There is just something about giving yourself a pedicure, moisturizing and sliding on comfy socks as a finishing touch that make me go “ahhh”.

WEIGHTED BLANKET

For guys that have difficulty relaxing even when you have planned time for yourself, this may be most beneficial. The weighted blanket adds that sense of security, anxiety reducing, stress relieving feeling that we all could benefit from.

MUSIC

It is super essential for your self care to have music! Your playlist should include music that is motivating and uplifting.

JOURNAL

Okay, okay don’t hurt me but I will not get off of my journal fandom!! I would do you a disservice if I were not to mention this amazing self care essential item. I have many journals I like to use for different reasons. I have one journal for therapy notes, another for thoughts (day to day use) and another for goal setting. I have also used one in the past that was specifically for improving my self care routine.

MASKS

Invest in some face masks, hair masks, eye masks and foot masks… have a pamper night!

Self care is so important and yet we all fall short of taking the best care of ourselves. Those are some of my tips to help you throughout Lockdown,

How To Fall In Love With Yourself

It’s hard work trying to fall in love with yourself when all your life you’ve had people continually tell you and make you feel as if you just weren’t good enough.

With all the men in my history and let’s face it, there’s been a few, there’s been something. Something wasn’t quite right. Friends were the same. I’m always surrounded by people and now, I’m adored by those I know but it hasn’t always been that way. Every man I’ve been with has shaped me in one way or another. Two glasses of wine and I’m smashed. Three glasses of wine and the whole night escapes my memory. When did I turn into that girl?

I can’t keep falling in love with inappropriate men and making bad decisions.

Anyway, back to the topic, you should write a list of all the things you already love about yourself. All those things you actually don’t mind or wouldn’t want to change. How hard can this be? So I wrote a list…

What I love about myself…

I’M A HARD WORKER.

If I need to stay awake all night and get something done, I’ll stay awake all night. I’m always late with stuff but when it comes to my work, whatever it is at the time, I put my heart and soul into it. I’ve always worked every hour the day would allow and I still do now. For years I’ve had both a full-time job, for two years I have had a full time job during the week and a part time job at weekends working behind the bar in Club Icon in a night club. I have also started blogging, I have always loved writing and with my life … I could write a book. However I’m permanently glued to either my phone, my laptop or my next adventure, I wouldn’t want it any other way. I love my life. I love my jobs. I love what I do. I’ve worked hard to stick two fingers up to people and tell them I DID IT ON MY OWN! I have no choice but to make it work. I WANT to make it work.

I’M ALL FOR EQUALITY.

I like to think of myself as an equal to everyone else. Of course, I judge people and think I’m ‘better’ than some people but that’s because I’m a human being and I live in the current day and age. Everyone’s judgemental from time to time. I’ve accepted that it’s just a part of human nature. But I’m an equal more than anything else. I don’t think one person doesn’t deserve any less assistance or aid just because of where they’re from, who they are, what colour their skin is, what God they believe in, or anything. I don’t think anyone deserves something better than me or vice versa. We are all the same. Gay people should have as many rights as straight people. Men should live as women if they want to, and vice versa. I just want a world filled with love. Hate hurts my heart.

I’m also for equality in relationships and friendships. He should pay on the first date because that’s just the right (/ gentlemanly / romantic / chivalrous / old-fashioned / expected) thing to do but after that, I’ll happily pay my way. I’ll buy dinner. I’ll even buy him roses if he wants. I’ll do everything for him that I would expect him to do for me. I expect that from my relationships and my friendships. I wouldn’t ask someone to do something for me that I wouldn’t do for them, friend, lover, partner or otherwise.

I’M OPEN-MINDED.

I mean that in every sense of the word. I’m open-minded in life, love, sex, you name it. I’ll happily try everything once. If I don’t like it, I just don’t do it again. Or maybe I’ll do it a second time around just to make sure but then after that, I definitely won’t do it again. I like to think that being as open-minded as I am makes me a better person because I can see different sides of different stories. I’m known to be flaky – I often change my mind on something but normally put it down to just being ‘a women’s prerogative’. In reality I think it’s because my mind is open to seeing a different side. I’m not afraid to admit when I’ve made a mistake and need to change my mind / opinion. I’m not afraid to admit when I’m in the wrong.

I’M NOT AFRAID TO ADMIT WHEN I’VE MADE A MISTAKE.

I’m making this a point on its own. If I’m in the wrong about something, I just need a little while to calm down and realised I’ve fucked up. I will always come back and apologise with my tail in between my legs if it’s called for. Like the time I got drunk and hurled abuse at Bestie. The first thing I did in my hungover state was apologise profusely for being a complete and utter cunt. I’m an asshole when I drink. I really, really am.

I’M BRUTALLY HONEST.

If you’re pissing me off, you’ll know about it. If I’m upset about something, you’ll know about it. I’m brutally honest and sometimes I wish I wasn’t but again, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve come to love that side of myself. And I’m starting to give less of a shit about offending people if they’ve upset me first. I can be two-faced but normally it’s by accident. Most of the time, whatever I’m thinking just comes right out of my mouth and the more I think about how to say something, the more it’s likely to just come out in one wild outburst. And wrong.

That’s how I think it should be when you first say ‘I love you’ to someone for the first time and that’s something I’ve realised too as I’ve gotten older. You should say it when it’s the only thing you can think about saying. When it feels like it might burst from your mouth at any moment and you’re unable to hold it in any longer. When it’s everything to you right there in that moment. That’s how I think when I love someone. When not saying those words becomes more impossible than saying them. You know? Maybe secretly I’m really romantic too?

I KNOW WHAT I WANT FROM LIFE…

Now. And I know how to get it. Sometimes putting that into practice takes some work but I’m getting there. I want to be happy. I don’t want to be super rich or super famous. I don’t want to be the world’s best anything, blogger, writer, business-bitch… Anything. (Although it would be nice.) I just want to be me. I want to be me around someone who loves me for me, the good stuff and the bad. I want to find that special someone, keep doing my writing thing, work too hard sometimes and fight too much, and live happily ever after with kids, a dog, a cat and a family car in tow. Everything in between, where I live, what he looks like, what kind of clothes I wear, none of that matters to me. Not at all. And that’s something I’ve learned over the years. I’m not a superficial girlie and all that superficial shit means nothin’ to me.

I’m patient. I’m loyal… Usually. I’m friendly and I’ll talk to anyone. I’m independent. I’m funny… If you get my sense of humour. I’m short and good things come in short packages.

So…. I guess there are a few things I do love about myself. It’s not all bad. What do you love about yourself? When was the last time you gave yourself a break? Try it. It’s good for your soul… Apparently. I feel better anyway. In fact, I feel pretty good. It’s YOUR turn…

Ciao for now!

xo

Know Your Worth

I wouldn’t classify myself as a hardcore Drake fan but If #DrakeTaughtMe anything, it was something I believed in long before he made it a hot line in a hot song. “Know Yourself, Know Your Worth

In today’s world, many people are having trouble discovering themselves. They are lost and trying to find someone or something to save them from pain, suffering and sorrow. In order for someone to discover self-worth, you must first look within. If you don’t take the initial step, why should you expect anyone to follow and help you?

This process can be lengthy and emotional, however, it’s mandatory if you want to see improvement in this area of your life. Being comfortable with who you are is everything, it’s your personal blueprint and foundation of self-worth. Without knowing exactly who you are, receiving and accepting love and happiness will be challenging. Settling and disappointment will be inevitable.

I have a message for you: Create YOUR own lane. Run YOUR own race. Life is not about keeping up with The Kardashians. Believe in yourself and live the happy life you want without thinking about what others will say or do. They will say regardless.

Peace, Love and Gin xo

7 Life Lessons I have learnt

I thought I would share some valuable life lessons I have learnt so far. Between the better moments in my life, there’s obviously been some really tough times so I feel as though I’ve spent more time feeling deflated, rather than happy this year. Which obviously = some serious life lessons learnt– and me being me, I thought that I’d share just what life has taught me so far this year… (cos’ sharing is caring and all that)

1.) Never ever compare your own life to those the same age as yourself
Throughout the entirety of last year, I made the age old mistake of comparing my own life/achievements to those the same age as myself. Whether that be a quick facebook stalk, or a chat with a friend, I constantly felt inadequate, and if I’m being completely honest, a little sick each time yet another person my age achieved something that I still hadn’t. I felt so so far behind compared to everybody else, as though I was living life wrong almost, and I’ve finally realised that life is not a race, and that everybody has ‘their time’. Things will work out.

2.) The importance of new
How many times as adults do we say to someone we don’t know all that well ‘you know what, I feel like we’d get on so well, do you want to go for cocktails/lunch?’ – I’m guessing hardy ever? But that’s exactly what I’ve been doing and I tell you now; it’s taught me A LOT. It’s boosted my confidence massively, and I’m no longer as painfully shy, if I have to meet up for a work meeting I can do it like a breeze when I’d previously have struggled. So I’m all for taking time out to meet new people and experience new things to help me grow as a person nowadays.

3.) No, THAT won’t do
Carrying out things half heartedly, half assed is just not good enough. I’ve recently learnt that unless you go at something and give it your all, well then you might as well not bother. Mediocre effort simply won’t do, or else what’s the point? Things worth having don’t come easy, so if you want something bad enough you’ve gotta put all of your efforts into it or else you’re only letting yourself down.

4.) It’s absolutely vital that you let your hair down from time to time
Letting your hair down, drinking, dancing and enjoying yourself is SO needed… Now I’m not saying ‘girl, neck an entire bottle of wine, get really drunk and start dancing like you think you’re Shakira’ (totally guilty of that, not going to lie) I’m just saying, make time to have funnn. I think sometimes we can get too caught up in everyday life or we simply think ‘I can’t be bothered tonight’ but it’s so so important to let go and escape ‘real life’ for a while.

Drink fruity cocktails, dance like a diva as though nobody is watching, laugh loudly, sing- life’s too short to spend it constantly bored and stressed. And you don’t even have to go out if that’s not your thing, I’ll do this on the regular in my own bedroom #livingmybestlife.

5.) It’s okay not to be okay
Please just bloody share with people when something is wrong, don’t bottle it up and pretend that you’re okay, just to fake that you’re fine when you really aren’t. Invite a friend round, or have a girly day with your mum and then gossip, cry and laugh with wine and don’t think you have to ‘be strong’ – share feelings as it always feels better, trust me.


6.) Self-belief and confidence is key
You CAN achieve absolutely anything if you really believe in yourself. Self belief is a powerful thing. “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” ..And I’m probs going to get a text after my grandma has read this paragraph like ‘Sophia, but you’re the worlds worst for continually doubting yourself’ and she’d be 100% right to do so because I really am the worst for this, which is why I’m starting to learn that I’m actually less productive and unlikely to achieve when I have this mindset, when I focus and tell myself that I can the difference in progress is HUGE.

7.) Lazy, self care days are vital to recharge batteries
And last but not least; it’s impossible to pour from an empty cup, meaning that entire days spent watching films, eating good food and taking time to chill and reenergise are absolutely needed. Have a pamper night and get ready to tackle the week ahead with so much more motivation! I’m thinking I’m going to buck my ideas up and cheer the hell up. I’m definitely aiming after lockdown to be more sociable, fun and carefree as what’s happened has happened now!


Do you lot have any valuable life lessons to share? I’d love to hear them!

Life lessons

I have asked a handful of ladies to share with me what they’ve learnt as women. They’re all women who have somehow shaped the life I lead and positively contributed to it. I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I did and can take something from these quotes. Thank you to everyone in my life who took the time to share something with me for this post.

”A lot of things taste better than skinny feels. Kate Moss can fuck off”

”Do what makes you happy as life is short; time goes quickly so follow your dreams and don’t put things off”

”Whenever you find yourself in an uncomfortable situation, ask yourself if it will matter in a week, a month, a year, 5 years…if not, take a deep breath, and walk away with your head held high and if it does matter do the exact same thing”

”I surround myself with positive people that encourage, help and support. My younger adult years felt like an overwhelming battle of bitchiness of ‘Who’s the prettiest’ and ‘What is she wearing’, and actually, it’s complete bullshit In business I support other women all the time”

”Resilience is key to success; you shouldn’t give up on anything just because you’ve had knock backs”

”Be your own person, believe in everything you do, and make sure you are surrounded by good people who will never judge you, always support you, and bring you wine”

“Travel the world as much as you can – there is a big wide world out there full of all different people from all walks of life; some people don’t get to experience that – don’t become one of them. Look after your family and friends, you need them as much as they need you”

”Be happy everyday, don’t dwell on things as in a years time you won’t even remember it! If you love someone, look after them and make them happy. You only live once so enjoy it!”

”Be courageous but kind”

And to finish things off, I thought I may as well share my own advice…

Never underestimate your achievements. Make sure you take the time to look back at how far you’ve come. Keep hold of the few good, loyal friends you find throughout your life; you’ll want to hang on to them. You only get one go at life so make it count. Don’t be scared to tell people to fuck off when it’s necessary. You will find someone who kisses the ground you walk on in good time. Be whoever you want to be, you can love makeup and heels at the same time as loving politics and current affairs.

And lastly, don’t let anyone shit on your dreams. Peace, Love and Gin xo