My Definition Of Toxic

Hey me again… ever since lockdown I feel like we are all trying to get our shit together … I have been so quiet , literally hibernating to meet deadlines and focus on studying for my first exam! Scary I know… not prepared at all. But anyway here I am.. everyone seems to throw the word toxic round like it doesn’t mean anything. I am going to be writing about what it means to me and how I define the word “toxic”.

Urban dictionary definition of “toxic” Adjective used to describe usually very negative person, that bitch about everything, spread unnecessary hate or just talk shit about others. Googles definition of “toxic” very harmful or unpleasant in a pervasive or insidious way. But toxic is a lot more than those definitions, do you agree?

My definition of toxic is when someone has hurt you so much to the point where you are just tired of it, but you do not want to pay any attention to it as to you they are a “good person” and in some ways you love them relationship or not. You are willing to keep getting hurt by the same person hoping that some day they will change… but they don’t. You start thinking about bad things about yourself, thinking you are not worth it and you start losing your worth.. that is toxic.

Toxic is when they start abusing you physically,mentally and emotionally but you don’t care because you want to keep loving them, you want to make them a better person. Toxic is when they stop putting effort into you, they stop talking to you, they don’t want to see you, they don’t care about you. You need effort, time and to feel appreciated by the ones surrounded by you. You got to love yourself before loving anyone else, caring about yourself before anyone else is not toxic. But letting someone control you and who you are is.. don’t let nobody tell you what you can and cannot do.

YOU ARE YOUR OWN PERSON. You are not them and you will never be like them you are yourself and if someone does not like it well they do not deserve you. It is crazy how a person can hurt you and you make feel so little like your feelings are not appreciated. It is crazy how they can affect you and your future.. but it does not always have to be like that. It is also crazy how a person can hurt you and not give a damn, no matter what nobody’s lives are perfect.

We get knocked down lower then we have ever been before just so we can climb higher than we have ever have. Do not lose faith in yourself entirely, there are so many people in the world out there, sometimes it is okay to take a break from the world and focus on yourself so you can come back better than ever. If this pandemic has taught me anything.. everything works both ways, stop putting effort in if you do not get anything back in relationships, families, friendships.

Do not let toxic people stop you from being happy, living your life and getting what you want. Chase your dreams.

Do you feel the same, is this what toxic means to you? Do you have someone in your life that is giving off bad energy and coming across toxic? remember you are your own person!!

Peace, Love and Gin xoxo

Reaching 10K Readers

Yes that is right Huns!!! 10K READERS!!

I couldn’t be anymore proud of myself, thank you all for your continued support and taking your time to read my content. LOVE TO YOU ALL

Thank you for listening to my rants, my unusual advice and just my life in general. I know I am such a bad blogger now, my posts are not quite as frequent and I do not share as much anymore. I STILL do write as discussed in one of my blog posts – I just do not share as often 😉 https://thesocialblonde.blog/2021/04/20/why-i-write/

I am going to keep this short and sweet but here are a list of the countries my blog has reached!

Your support has been incredible, I never thought it would have taken off to 10K, I only started this blog as something to keep me busy and occupied as I love writing. To have this much support behind me is unreal. 10,000 People reading my content, that is such an achievement.

I’ve been documenting my life for just over a year in this brutally honest blog, covering painful breakups, delicious make-ups, awkward first dates, sex tips, tough mental health battles, and some very #NSFW sex tales. (Even a few embarrassing ones, too.)

I’m telling the tales of all the boys + girls I’ve loved before, all the boys + girls I’ve f*cked before, and all the VERY bad decisions I’ve made.

And I’m pretty unapologetic about the lot. But you know what? I am not going to stop! My goal is to turn 10,000 into 20,000 readers by January 2022!

The Social Blonde, can and will do this!

Much love to all my readers, Xoxo

I Am The Ultimate Judge Of Myself No One Else Is! Self Love Is The Goal

I AM THE ULTIMATE JUDGE OF MYSELF – NO ONE ELSE IS! I can only control my behavior and actions. I need to LOVE ME!

Self love is so important. Because when you’re all alone and it’s 3 am and you’re crying, who’s going to be there for you?obviously yourself. You have to pick yourself up and find the strength to carry on, at the end of the day, you’re all you’ve got.

The whole self love thing is good and all but some people can’t fathom being loved. They can’t imagine there being anything good about them. So they can’t simply just stop doing unhealthy things, there’s a process. 

Before self love you have to have self tolerance and self neutrality. 
If you can’t say “I love my body!” say “my body gets me from place to place.”
If you can’t say “I’m beautiful,” begin by shutting down the “I’m ugly” thoughts and saying “I’m a person.”
If you can’t say “I’m valuable” begun by shutting down the “I’m worthless” thoughts and say “all people deserve basic respect, and I’m a person.”

If you can’t say “I’m important,” or “I’m kind” say “I am the one who waters my plant every week” or “I am the one who tips the kind bartender down the street” or “I am the one who makes sure my dog does not eat plastic” or “I am the one who leaves long comments on people’s posts.”

You can be kind, be gentle, be loving, be inspiring, but refuse to let anyone walk over you. Find your worth, and after you do, you’ll start holding yourself up to a higher standard.

This will cause you to start holding people up to a higher standard than you’ve ever done because you know you deserve more than what has been given to you in the past.

You can be kind but be nasty against anything that will bring you down. You can be loving but detest hate. You can be inspiring but be uninspired by anything that does that match to your level.

But most importantly, be kind to yourself. Be gentle to yourself. Be loving to yourself. Inspire yourself. You’ve been through alot. You’ve learned alot of valuable lessons and you’ll learn even more. You’re strong and capable of anything you put yourself up to. You’re everything you need.

Your life speaks louder than your voice ever can. How we live and how we treat people is who we really are – not the things we claim to do or be. Let how you live your life be a testament to who you really are.

I will tell you again and again:

Choose the life you want and run in that direction.

Don’t settle for anything else.

Trust the next chapter because you are the author.

Why I Write….

I feel the need to apologise for being a bad blogger again, but I’m trying to do less apologising in 2021. It’s one of those New Year’s Resolutions that I’ve already broken, but hey, there’s still plenty of time to turn things around. 

2020 was a weird year. 2021 has been so kind to me so far. I’m hoping it will stay this way..

FINGERS CROSSED, FOLKS. 

I definitely should blog more, though. I got the domain and hosting renewal email a while back and actually wondered whether I should bother. It’s not like I blog these days. What’s the point in having a blog when you don’t blog? So, I cancelled the renewal and figured I’d let it run out. 

Exactly 25 minutes later, I renewed everything I just cancelled. I *am* still a blogger. I have 70+ blog posts here, some not quite finished, never published. I still write. I write a lot. I just don’t share my words with the world anymore because I’m a wimp. [Translation: anxiety.] But I want to start sharing again. I miss it. I always miss it.

BEFORE I START SHARING, I WANT TO SHARE A LITTLE BIT OF WHAT’S BEEN GOING ON IN MY LIFE … 

I’m still with that guy.. We’re still very happy, looking at travelling the world together as of next year!

I am half way through my Business Mangement degree! Amazing I know.

My anxiety and depression are still winning every day. However I have been fully signed off my Therapy! I have lost more weight, enough to get skinny-shamed by people I haven’t seen in a while.. I have weird eating habits that aren’t specific enough to be classed as an eating disorder, but definitely involve a lot of control. And that’s the first time I’ve ever admitted that. 

I wanted to settle down, get a mortgage and have kids, but now I just want to travel and feel free with the love of my life.

Found out I am allergic to latex – wish I had a funny story to tell about this but I do not.

I have learnt I am a massive shopaholic and could probably open up my own clothes store at this rate..

Lockdown made me realise there is more to my hometown and making memories with the ones you love is so important.

My mum and I have gotten so close, I love the relationship we have now!

I have cut all toxic people out of my life, had a massive social media blitz and I am so frigging happy!!!

Avoided medical appointments. Chipped a front tooth opening a wine bottle. Cried more tears than I could ever tell you about and had bigger meltdowns than 2007 Britney. I didn’t shave my head, although I came close once or twice. (I’m not even kidding.) 

I binge-watched everything — literally everything — there is to watch on Netflix, whilst working 9 hour days (from home). I like to pretend that I work that much for the money, and a big part of it is that, but it’s also because working is easier than thinking. There were a few points in 2019 and 2020 that were so low and bleak I didn’t know if I’d make it through. I’m fine and I didn’t do anything stupid, but I thought about it almost every day. I got myself a new tattoo instead. It’s like an acceptable form of self-harm. I probably shouldn’t say that, but it totally is. Most of my tattoos came about during periods of darkness in my life. 

And that’s pretty much where I’m at. Trying to get my shit together, love myself and LIVE! Things can change with the flip of a coin. But I am not kidding my life is pretty fucking dandy right now and I have so much going for me! Thailand, Asia and Italy are on the cards next year for sure!!

Anyway, I hope you’re all doing well.

WHAT’S BEEN GOING ON IN YOUR LIVES? 

How To Make The Most Of Your Twenties…

Some would argue that your twenties are the best years of your life. And then those of us in our twenties would disagree… Why is that? Well, your twenties are confusing and expensive. Mostly expensive. Many of us are still working tirelessly at jobs that pay us nothing, all while trying to pay back thousands upon thousands in student loan debts.  Now don’t get me wrong, I’m about to be 24 this year and I feel very blessed for the life I have today. However, that doesn’t mean it’s always been a walk in the park; at least not the way it’s portrayed in movies. All the romantic comedies star a woman in her late twenties who’s working as a senior editor for a high-end magazine and living in a lush apartment in the city. How the f*** did she land that gig? Basically, we’re searching for answers on how to make sense of this messy life we’re leading. And in today’s post, I’m going to share with you some ways to make the most of your twenties.

Be Willing To Embarrass Yourself

It’s taken me a while, but I’ve learned to accept the fact that sometimes I’m super awkward. And sometimes I embarrass myself with what I say, do, or the questions I ask. And you know what? That’s OK. You’re never going to become a better person if you let the fear of failure or embarrassment take over your life. If you have something to say, say it.

Don’t Waste Your Time In A Job You Hate

Sometimes you need to work a job you hate because you need to make ends meet, I get it. However, you’re far too young to allow yourself to become complacent in a job that isn’t fulfilling. There’s nothing worse than waking up every morning and dreading the drive to work. Find a job that excites you! We have this amazing thing called the internet. There are endless opportunities out there, you just have to be willing to go out and find them.

Determine Your Non-Negotiables

This goes for your personal life and your professional life. What are the things that you’re just not willing to settle for? Determining those things will improve your happiness tenfold. I never did this until recently and believe me, it’s well worth it.

Choose Your Friends Wisely

Having genuinely good friends who will be there for you no matter what is so important. Surround yourself with good people, and don’t be afraid to walk away from a toxic friendship.

Be Honest

Be honest with yourself and your relationships. Accept when you’re wrong, listen to other’s advice and just be a good person. Period.

Travel

Visit as many places as you can, experience life before it is too late! Fall in love with nature, you will not be disappointed.

Thanks for stopping by, friends! I hope you found this helpful.

Peace,Love and Gin xoxo