How People Try To Break You

One minute you’re a child with a best friend forever, the next you walk into a room full of people and assume only a handful are nice.

You truly grow up when you realise not everyone has your best interests. We are taught to always compete. We are labelled from a young age. The “clever one”, the “pretty one”, and the “funny one”.

It’s not about competing with the person opposite. You have to compete with yourself. Aim to be your best and you cannot do any more. Infact, if you compete against a person, you might win and then there will always be another.

Unfortunately, not everyone understands this concept; some people take their envy and twist it into negative malice. These are a few ways i have found that people try to break you, and how to react with each one.

1. The belittling

You have just opened up about your dream job or some exciting news; this person doesn’t want you to feel too good. They decide to mock or talk down to you in an attempt to lower your esteem. I am all for sarcasm, but sometimes a false humour is used to cover how awful they are being.

Honestly, being such a dreamer, I am beyond used to this. I have experienced family and friends criticise my decisions and do so in a way that makes me feel stupid. Sometimes no one cares until they see you doing well, and then they want to throw in their comments.

What to do

Simply keep going. Don’t argue. Don’t defend yourself. You know what you are doing and what you want. In a world full of people with dreams on the back-burner, it speaks volume about your character that you aim high. The best way to revenge these comments is to do you. Even if your plans do not all work out, you will live knowing you lived to the full and believed in your heart. That’s a great life to have!

2. The copier

Not just a highschool phase, copying can stem from a sinister route. I’m not talking about a person being inspired by your work or wanting to buy jeans they have seen you worn. That’s rather complimenting.

I’m talking about that person who copies purely to compete. Everything you do, they do as well to try to beat you at it. I have recently had someone who would do this and even to this day, I’m sure she still does. If she is reading this, PLEASE STOP!

What to do

Firstly, if you have someone that competitive, question whether they are actually your friend. Copying can be down to insecurity, so it’s important to know the difference. Truly, keep things to yourself. Don’t share information with a person not embracing your happiness. And don’t keep noticing. Just move on and focus on what you are doing. Worrying about others who do not care about you, is wasted energy. Besides, anyone copying and you are doing something right! Just block them!

3. The bragger

In today’s world, do we all kind of brag? Again there is a difference with people who love sharing their life and people who love rubbing it towards you.

Not always related to boosting self-esteem, bragging can occur due to the need to make you feel bad. They may ask you a question first and make your answer appear inadequate, or they make a point of comparing lives, persuading yours to look insignificant.

What to do

Keep your tone the same. Why let them affect you and if they have, Why show them? Don’t fake happiness or pretend you are uninterested, just stick your usual reactions. Nothing gets to a bragger more than knowing their bragging is not effective.

4. Negative Nancy

Apologies if you are called Nancy and you are positive!

Negatives like putting a big minus next to all your goals. However big or small, a negative wants you to know how unrealistic your desires are.

Mainly down to envy, they fear you achieving and setting out to do what they are afraid of.

What to do

Well, avoid sharing your positivity. It’s tempting to counteract and stand up for yourself when someone doubts your capabilities; often this does not deter them. Don’t give them the option of deciding whether to crush your thoughts, share your passions with people who inspire them.

5. The judgemental/down talkers

The biggest, I have resentment towards you and want you to fail, in my opinion.

Judgement is one of the worst. Beyond hypocritical, people who make themselves feel better by making others feel ashamed.

Alongside this category is the down talkers. Not only do they criticise, react negatively and belittle, they make you feel wrong. They take on an superior role. They target your intelligence. Down talkers can be conceited, they can attack you whilst pretending they are innocent. You can end up questioning your confidence, then questioning why you are questioning it. Any questions?

What to do

This is the one where I believe you should stand up for yourself. There is no such thing as a perfect human. Whoever decides to criticise you, are already in the wrong.

Be stronger than their weak opinions. Down talk especially, why entertain it? Cut the conversation. Your ears deserve more!

How many of these have you experienced? Please comment below and thank you for reading.

Peace, Love and Gin Xoxo

WHAT IS THE MOST INTIMATE ACT?

For me, it’s oral sex – sitting on a guy’s face. I wanted to say something more profound and deep – chatting all night, sharing my deepest secrets; nursing a lover back to health. But the minute I typed the question, the thought rummaged past my wondering desire to drink decaf coffee. Up close to someone’s ‘private parts’ – it’s surely a contender for the most intimate act – at least physical?

One person is in control; it’s a selfless thing to do in a vulnerable position. With sex, you’re both hopefully experiencing pleasure, swerving between how you feel and what they’re doing. Watching a person put aside their own needs to sexually fulfil you however – that’s such an open, power play.

  • A true act of intimacy must be when silence can linger. That’s why I’m not particularly fond of first dates at restaurants. Between glancing at menus, waiting for food and actually eating (the worst is listening to bread being crunched), it’s like you have to comprise 100 questions to keep chat going. If you can sit and walk with someone and not say a word – you’ll know your bond is close. More so if you stare at one another’s eyes.

Do we agree?? What’s your thoughts on intimacy ? Your favourite intimate act?

Get involved –

PLACES I HAVE VISITED IN 2020

Hey Everyone, hope you are all keeping well?

I always get asked how I find the nicest places? Whats my secret? and that I should make a blog of the places i have visited. So here it is, here is my post dedicated to places I visited in 2020 and some tips to help you plan your visit.

My First stay with Joe was Chester – Indigo Hotel on the 14th March 2020. We aimed to go to Chester because of their Zoo, Joe planned the whole weekend and it was lush! Would highly recommend visiting when we are allowed to do so. I am obsessed with elephants and they have the most gorgeous water hole for elephants. It’s around a 4 hour drive with traffic (long I know) but if you are anything like us blasting out some old skl and singing along, the time flys.

Gallery image of this property
Hotel Indigo – Chester – £180 Deluxe King Room – 1 Night
Nelly The Elephants – Chester Zoo

Our second stay was a little different, with everything going on to do with Covid we just needed a break out of lockdown. We booked the cheapest hotel and just packed our things and went. On the 19th August 2020 we went to Falmouth had some seafood, drank endless amounts and discovered a beautiful beach cove. From this venture we were eager to book another.

Basset Cove – North Cliffs.
Basset Cove Beach

As my Birthday month came, I was eager to get away. We were browsing, I did some smooching around on Instagram and came across The Cornwall Hotel And Spa. We booked this straight away without hesitating,this stay was relaxing, beautiful and exactly what we needed. We learnt more about us as a couple It was just needed after a few crappy months. So on the 14th October we went on an adventure in St Austell. We visited the Eden Project, Tintagel Beach and Merlins Cave, The lost gardens of Heligan and also took a trip to Plymouth on the way home for a game of crazy golf and some more yummy food. As you can tell I am an adventurous soul!

The Eden Project
Tintagel Beach and Merlins Cave
The Lost Gardens Of Heligan
The Cornwall Hotel and Spa
My Love – Every Adventure With You Is An Adventure To Remember ❤

Our final trip of 2020 was at the most beautiful shepherds hut tucked away in Launceston. We planned to do this in December before Christmas, we were very very lucky to have been able to have this trip due to lockdown! On the 9th December 2020 we embarked on another adventure, I have never been so relieved and happy to be somewhere remote and just hearing the sounds of birds. At this trip it was a hot tub getaway in the middle of nowhere, we drank, cooked meals together and played board games. Had barrels of laugh together with the pigs on the farm! On the way back home, we stopped off to Exeter for some Christmas shopping and some Wagamamas of course.

Landrends Cornish Holidays
Landrends Cornish Holidays

Now those were our 2020 Staycations! It has been hard with Covid and Lockdown, I have been very very lucky and I count my blessings each day. Now you ask and wonder how I book and find these places? As you can see most of where we went in 2020 was in Cornwall. My advice? Google your surroundings, look on instagram, look on pinterest. All my bookings are done via Booking.com or AirBnB with a 20% discount from Booking.com. With Falmouth we were very very lucky to find the beautiful basset cove, most of my ventures are through driving elsewhere and then googling a place we past and searching near that area. Google Maps comes in very handy!

I sometimes love to have a plan of what we are doing whenever we go away, but sometimes I also love to be spontaneous. Joe has always said, I am outgoing, Ambitious and Courageous oh and a little dopey but he is clumsy so 😉 ( last valentines he knocked the candle off the table in a french restaurant ) What I am trying to get at here? Any trip you can make memorable, even if it’s eating out of a can of beans in front of a fire, no matter what the situation you are surrounded by the ones you love and for that you are lucky!

I wonder what trips will come out of 2021, will we get a summer like 2018? If you need advice on where to book or need help looking for romantic places, let me know? I love planning stuff like this!

But for now, I am going to finish watching How To Get Away With Murder, with a large hot chocolate.

Stay safe everyone!

Peace, Love and Gin xox

Learn To Love Yourself.

Hi Guys,

Now we are heading into the New year, I thought I would write a blog post on How To Love Yourself. Learn to love yourself more when we go into 2021.

Your love will keep you warm on days when everything feels cold, from a cup of hot coffee to your best friend’s touch. It will let you take a break and stop you from being too hard on yourself and make you believe that you are more than your terrible past and failed relationships. Loving yourself will soothe your back gently while you face your fears and not let your anxiety win and buy you an ice-cream on a bad day and applaud at every little step you take forward. 

Your love will keep your heart pumping with happiness and not let any negative thought invade your beautiful mind. When you sing your favourite songs and dance your heart out your eyes shine the brightest. It will make you realise that you are enough and as long as you have your own back, nothing can stop you from conquering the world. Your love will teach you to not be just kind to others but to yourself too. it will tell you how to love right. 

To love yourself the way you love others, You need to follow these steps.

Distance yourself from the people that make you feel like you’re not good enough. You know deep down in your heart if someone isn’t good for you, so live your truth. 

You slowly stop comparing yourself to others. Everyone has their own journey, and you could be comparing your life to someone you know nothing about. Live your own life at your own pace. Live life on your own terms. Remember no one knows what happens behind closed doors.

You learn how to be kind to yourself. Don’t put yourself down. Don’t let one negative thought become the way you feel about yourself. Try your very best to turn a negative into a positive; and watch how quickly your mindset can change. 

You take care of yourself. Go for more walks, or find something that you enjoy, something that makes you feel good about yourself, something that makes you come home to yourself, and try and do it a few times a week. Try to turn toxic habits into new ones that are good for you and your mind. 

You start to deeply think about the people you spend time with. Are they toxic? Do they bring you down? Do you feel like you are worth more than the way they make you feel? It might be time to evaluate the kind of people you are surrounding yourself with and align yourself with people that lift you up and appreciate you. 

You unfollow people on social media that make you feel like you need to look a certain way or you are constantly comparing yourself to. It’s not weak. It’s called seIf-preservation, and it’s powerful. 

You learn how to stand up for yourself. Take control of a situation when you feel like you are being taken advantage of. It might be uncomfortable at first, but once you start to stand up for yourself you will learn to respect yourself so much more over time. 

You understand that loving yourself is a process. It’s not going to happen overnight. Be patient with yourself, and give yourself the time you need to heal and grow to love who you are on the inside and on the outside. Don’t let anyone stand in the way of the person you are becoming.

If you need any more tips you can comment/ email me annonymously.

All my love,

Peace, Love and Gin Xoxox

the importance of space in a relationship.

Whenever I’m in a relationship, I’ve always found the concept of you do your thing, I do mine and we meet in the middle. Don’t get me wrong, one of the most amazing things about being with someone is actually being with that someone and spending quality time together. But I cannot stress enough how much I love spending time with me, myself and I (no vibrator puns please, you cheeky lot). But it is soo important you give your partner space, this is the key to long lasting relationships.

Why is she harping on about this you may be wondering?

If someone had shown me this subtitle a couple of years ago, I would have closed the browser. To me, relationships were all about closeness. Space was almost a dirty word — one that’s usually used right before a breakup: “I need some space right now, so maybe we should stop seeing each other for a while.”

But now I realise that personal space is as important for our relationships as air is for our bodies.

We all need time to relax, to engage in activities that we enjoy outside common interests and to associate with other important people in our life. Space is also absolutely essential for individual growth and personal development.

But perhaps the best part of personal space is that it reignites the magic in a relationship. Interactions between you and your partner become much more interesting.

You are genuinely excited to see each other after a little time apart. Something in the air feels like those early dating days. Suddenly, you can really feel the love and not just the attachment.

We all know that relationships are complicated. However, they are also the most rewarding and worthwhile parts of our lives. They are well worth the effort they invariable require.

It isn’t always easy to tell your partner that you need more space — whether that’s an evening alone, a vacation with your girlfriends, a room of your own or simply permission to make a decision without his/her input. On the flip side, it can be just as hard to give space when your partner asks for it.

Think of it as a long-term investment. When space is taken out of the equation, all that remains is commitment. Are you willing to settle for a relationship devoid of passion and excitement? Few of us are. The good news is we don’t have to settle!

Take the chance, for both yourself and your partner. Give each other room to be unique individuals who bring different things to the relationship.

Give each other permission to enjoy this gift of life not only together, but also separately. Give each other some space, and you will be rewarded with a love that’s more passionate, more powerful, and more deeply, intensely alive.

I only see my partner once/twice a week due to work commitments and giving each other space to do things, we have been dating for a year, together officially 5 months and it feels so fresh. When we do see each other it is the most magical moment and we appreciate the time together more. But for the love of God, please don’t ever become one of those couples who is so self-reliant on their partner that they forget how awesome it is having ones own space and seeing their friends. Date nights are also important in a relationship but I will touch on this with another blog post.

Anyway for now, Peace, Love and Gin xoxo

To the girl who doesn’t believe she deserves love…

You do!

Hey it’s me again, just thought I would give you the low down on what is happening in my life currently…. I have recently started a new job as a Student Support Liaison and also studying a degree in Business Management. I am also looking at taking a course in Journalism at college. Yes the goal is to manage a company and write articles in magazines… The dream. I am just an A* English Student who had Tumblr for way too longer, trying to make it in life.

Okay so the love life.. Fuck me, I don’t even know where to start. The craziest love story… Head over heels for this guy. It has been nearly a year and it’s really not that relationship where we are with each other 24/7. I have never got bored of this guy, He keeps me on my toes, we have our own lives and try and do date night once/twice a week. He makes my vagina skip , he gives me butterflies, he is just dreamy. I have found someone who I want to travel with, try new foods and play pranks on. He is different and we like different. Okay now back to topic….

To the girl who thinks she doesn’t deserve love,

I know you can’t keep a count of how many nights you have stayed up waiting for texts or calls, or both. Just let it pass… Trust me.

Go watch a movie, instead. Do your self care routines, Don’t believe in love until you’ve someone who says that you look beautiful even though you hate yourself. Wait for someone who’d write you letters just like that. FYI the guy I am with compliments me everyday and I have never had that.

Wait for someone who’d call you just because he is missing your voice. Eventually, you will cross paths with someone like that. At that moment, do not let him go.

Hold him close and let go of the clutches of your past. It barely matters if you think you don’t deserve love, because guess what, he knows that you do – and you deserve all the love there is in the universe. You have got this baby girl, I believe in you so believe in yourself.

You have a habit of giving up on people, don’t do that with him. Sing songs, even though you can’t. And he will join you midway. It’s always better to have some music in the background and it will bring out the silly side of you both making you feel comfortable.

Love will come and hit you out of nowhere. and when this happens, love starts living in your head rent-free. every small thing reminds you of them. the roses growing near your window sill are the exact shade of the t-shirt they wore yesterday, your favourite song sounds like it was made just for you two and apparently, both of you like coffee the same way.  The way their eyes crinkle when they laugh, or even how they turn the pages of a book, nothing they do is ever short of a masterpiece. when you’re with them, you’re simply standing in an art gallery, in awe of everything around you. and in those moments, you don’t dream of riches or fancy castles, all you want is the two of you, together, forever. 

Once you fall in love, you want to keep loving them, till that’s all that’s left around you. it’s crazy, but aren’t all the best things like that?

All you have to do is to wait. Never think you don’t deserve happiness, okay? And just one last thing – happiness is not synonymous for love. You will find love, someday. Believe.

Boundaries in relationships

Healthy boundaries in relationships are highly recommended and are an essential part of effective communication in couples.

Healthy boundaries allow a person to assert and maintain their sense of self while also engaging at an intimate level with the other. Unhealthy boundaries on the other hand can feel invasive, can be damaging to the self-esteem, can give rise to feelings like resentment and anger.

Examples of boundaries in relationships

Some examples of healthy boundaries:

  • Having friendships outside the relationship
  • Who pays what bills
  • Agreeing the kind of sex life you want
  • Having “Me time”
  • The right to privacy
  • Don’t bring up past relationships – The past is in the past

Some examples of unhealthy boundaries:

  • Inability to give space
  • Not being able to share your thoughts and opinions
  • Not taking responsibility for your needs
  • Causing arguments for the sake of it

People lack boundaries because they have a high level of neediness (or in psych terms, codependence). People who are needy or codependent have a desperate need for love and affection from others. To receive this love and affection, they sacrifice their identity and remove their boundaries.

Boundaries play an important role in telling someone how you want to be treated in a relationship and prevent you from getting used. This is why communication of what you want needs to be clear. Whether explicit or implicit, boundaries should be clear between partners.

For a healthier and happier relationship follow these simple steps:

  1. Know yourself
  2. Take responsibility for your needs and have some time
  3. Don’t spend every day with each other – It is not healthy
  4. See YOUR friends
  5. Communicate
  6. Listen and respect each other

WHAT IS LOVE?

It’s buying me a coffee and a blueberry muffin with the last few quid you have in your pocket just because you know I’ll really appreciate it for breakfast. It’s buying you the new playstation 5 even though it’s ridiculously expensive and totally out of my price range, just because I know you’ll tell me it’s the best gift you’ve ever received. It’s putting the kettle on every time I get that text that says, “Honey, I’m on my way home” 

It’s making a roast dinner with all the trimmings but having it with chicken dippers rather than an actual roast chicken because you forgot the main ingredient for our Sunday feast. It’s laughing it all off as though it doesn’t matter, rolling around in hysterics so much that you can’t stop the pee trickling down your leg.

It’s snuggling up together in bed, pulling the duvet and blankets in close, desperately sheltering each other from the freezing cold temperatures. It’s watching endless shows on Netflix even though we’re bored of them, making the most of a bad situation during a pandemic.

It’s making you feel loved even when you think the rest of the world is against you. It’s making you feel special when you don’t think you’re special in the slightest, and when you think you don’t deserve the special treatment. It’s smiling at you other across a crowded restaurant and instantly knowing what you’re thinking, just from a look. It’s being able to sit in your hoodie, barely moving from the bed. It’s all the cups of tea that aren’t asked for, and all the ones that are.

It’s sharing everything I have with you, everything I feel with you, and making sure you know that you can share everything with me too. The farts, the smelly armpits, the weird spots that we seem to find ourselves with, in really unsavoury places. It’s performing open-butt surgery at three in the morning, using an ice cube as the anaesthetic and a sewing needle as a surgical instrument.

It’s being there every time you feel scared. Every time I need to go to the doctor. Every time you forget something. Every time I can’t face a bumblebee.

What is love?

Love is all of those things. Relationships and life are journey, do not force it.

Go out, have fun and do not be terrified, just be you. You cannot put a time on Love, Just have fun.

The hard days are what makes us stronger, keep your eyes on the stars and feet on the ground.

❤️

Someone New – How It Happened?

You know when in the early stages of a relationship when something just “clicks” into place? Like all of a sudden you’re no longer dating … you’re in a relationship. Things just “click” into place and you find yourself doing “normal” things together, rather than just the date-stuff you’d usually do to…Well, that moment happened in July….

Everything just fell into place and felt right, both lying on his bed watching netflix, and it kinda happened… he asked me to be his! The sides I have seen have been beautiful. He laughs a lot. We laugh a lot. I love making him laugh, and I’ve found myself doing things that I’ve never done with other people just to see him laugh.

I’m 100% myself around him. That’s it. That’s what happened. That’s what clicked between us. He makes me feel comfortable, safe, totally at ease. I dance around, I sing at the top of my very bad singing voice so does he… I laugh with him at my camel toe in my new joggers instead of being totally embarrassed, and I sit there for three hours whilst he plays on the Xbox just chilling with my legs over him enjoying his company.

I’m trying to put all my thoughts in a row here but there are simply too many things I need to tell you. It’s hard work trying to put 9 months of dating into one blog post. I’m going to need to break this down over a couple of blog posts. Not a bad thing.. more content and It’ll give me something to do. Or reminisce over? I have a ton of work.

He’s horny. All. The. Time. I’m a horny little thing sometimes, and especially in the first flourishes of a new relationship, but he’s something else. After a while, all that sex starts to do something to you. To be frank … it ruins you. Sometimes my vagina.

I don’t smoke, I don’t hate that he smokes. I thought I would. Instead I love the way the cigarette smell lingers on him afterwards, and it hasn’t encouraged me to smoke either. When he goes out for a fag and then gets back into bed behind me, pulling me in close, that cigarette-scent bringing a smile to my face. It’s like a happy, familiar scent. But if anyone else smokes around me I can’t stand it. How odd?

We fit together. When he stands behind me, his belly fits into the curvature of my back. When he climbs back into bed behind me, spooning me and hugging me tight, we slot together perfectly. When he hugs me, he’s just the right height and width to make me feel tiny, protected, and completely safe. When we fuck, everything just drops into place. Every part of our lives have come together, almost like a zip being pulled closed, and nothing has stopped us or gotten in the way of that steady flow. NOT even a pandemic, With every relationship step we take, another notch of that zipper comes together. We just … fit.

He can be really lazy. I can be super lazy too, but he has a tendency to say he’ll do things and then not actually do them. Then Leave it too me last minute. typical bloke.

I’m more patient than I thought I was. I’m more adaptable than I thought I was too. And when you meet someone you’re meant to be with, you know. Instantly, you just know. He’s like the best friend I’ve always wanted. The Bestie I WANT to fuck. I want to tell him everything, and I do. He knows about the blog, but he knows what I write. I’ve shown him a few pieces in a word document format, and he’s always praised my work after he’s read it. He’s excited about it. He doesn’t probe to know more. He doesn’t interfere. He asks occasional questions but for the most part he just lets me talk about it when I want to.

I have fallen for him, hook, line and sinker. And yes, I’m worried that I’m not not noticing the red flags because I’m sure there have probably been some.

But I really have fallen for him. And that’s that. I’m kinda hoping he doesn’t turn into a dick now, if I’m being honest. I don’t know if I’d cope with that well. I’ve done exactly the thing I said I wouldn’t do again, and I’ve fallen head over heels in love over again.

Please let’s not fuck this up

The Three-Week Accidental Holiday

Intimacy, But Not Sex… But An Orgasm

So it’s been a while and so much has happened, I have recently got into a relationship with someone new… YES I know… I am shocked too. I have been so busy with work and odd little bits but I am back. ……….

So many women complain that so many men don’t know how to do it, so either I’ve been super lucky with the men I’ve chosen to let into my underwear or I have some sort of radar that ensures I only go to bed with men who have great oral skills. Because, let me tell you, I have had many, many orgasms from a good ol’ session of oral sex. I figured that would give me plenty of experience when it comes to conveying what I like.

When you give a girl head, it needs to be about the entire experience. You can’t just dive south, head for her cunt and hope everything works as you want it to. A womans body works pretty well because they know what to do with it, but not even I can muster up an orgasm when the captain of my ship doesn’t have the right technique.

At the same time, I don’t really need an actual technique. A steady, lapping rhythm will often get me there eventually, and so will small circles made with the tip of your tongue around my clit, but a combination of these, mixed in with some clever finger-action and a bit of experimentation, and you’ll turn things from orgasm to O-O-O-O-ORGASM! And isn’t that just what you want to do?

THIS IS HOW TO GIVE YOUR GIRLFRIEND THE BEST HEAD OF HER LIFE..

So you should start by kissing the neck. That’ll make goosebumps erupt across her body so you’ll feel her excitement as you run your fingers up and down the raised and bumpy skin on her arms. Whisper the naughty little things you want to do to her in her ear, and let your breath tickle the hairs on the back of her neck. And then, when it’s very evident what your intentions are, place your hand on the base of her back and lead her to the bedroom. It’s a dominant, yet gentle move, all in one.

When you get to the bedroom, undress her slowly. Kiss her as you do so, passionately, intensely, deeply. Take a moment to dip your head and twirl your tongue around the nipple you’ll playfully release from her bra. The right tweaks and touches will leave her wetter than you could ever imagine.

Position her where you want her on the bed, wherever it’s easy and comfortable for you, and kiss your way down her stomach as you take off whatever clothes she is still wearing. Admire her, look at her, take in what you have in front of you. Make her believe you’re hungry for it. Kiss and bite at her flesh and use your hands to grasp and grab handfuls of it on her hips and her thighs. Bite her hip bones, really bite them. Leave a mark. Be dominant. She will want to know that you’re desperate to devour her, every single little part of her, all of the womanly flesh.

The more impatient you make her, the quicker it’ll be for you to make her come — and the more toe-curling it’ll be for her. Glide your hands all over her body as you get close enough to her clit for her to feel your breath, but far enough away that she whimpers a little with desperate wanting. Reach up to play with her nipples, pinch them, twist them a little, be rougher than you like with them. She likes it .

TAKE YOUR TIME WHEN YOU FINALLY GET THERE.

Make her work for it. Tease her. Play with her. Kiss and bite at her stomach, nibble and lick at her thighs, caress around her labia. Her lips are far more sensitive than most people give them credit for, and a slightly painful tug can leave her gushing all over your hand. If you bite and suck on them before, during, and after she will come, and love you forever for it. Oh, and don’t forget the kissing. Kiss her everywhere. Kiss her more.

YOUR ACTUAL ORAL TECHNIQUE ITSELF ISN’T OVERLY IMPORTANT.

Getting that rhythm right might seem like a big deal, but it’s not. Not to her. Her body is fairly easy to read and interpret. Her moans and groans will let you know when you’re doing things right and hitting the perfect spot, and if she is not squirming or squiggling because of your capable hands and mouth, try something else — switch it up. That’s the trick: experiment, try different things, don’t stick to what you know. Think outside the box. She will want you to find all of those spots she really likes … and then some she is not aware of yet.

Sooo, Push your fingers inside her as you’re licking her, one finger to start with. Arch it up, heading towards the top of her pelvis from within, and stroke that little fleshy section. It’s like rubbing the Genie’s lamp; magic things will happen if you do. Do it at the same time as drawing circles around her clit with your tongue and you’ll make her come in no time at all. You can speed things up by playing with her nipples.

IF YOU’RE DOING IT RIGHT, YOU’LL START TO NOTICE A CHANGE IN HER BREATHING.

She will get louder and more ragged as that oh-so-fabulous O gets closer. Her hands will start to grasp at the sheets, at your hair, at everything and anything within reach. Her hips will start to move, swaying and bucking, trying to match the motion of your relentless tongue.

Use your tongue and drag it up and down the entirety of her pussy. Lick her ass too, if you like that kind of thing.

Just play with her. I can’t express that enough. Just play with her. Play with all of her. Use your hands to explore, squeeze and grab her body. Feel free to let your mouth go wild. Leave little bite marks on the insides of her thighs from where you get a little too carried away and bruises from grasping too hard. She will want to know that you want her, that you really want her, that her pussy is the only thing you want to be eating.

WHEN YOU THINK SHE IS GETTING CLOSE, BE PREPARED TO HOLD ON TIGHT.

If you continue to use your fingers inside her, maybe even adding a second digit to the mix, you’ll probably make her gush as you keep lapping at her clit. You’ll know when it’s coming because her back will arch. All of a sudden, she won’t be able to breathe. Her legs will start to violently shake. You’ll feel a flooding in your mouth — a very positive sign that you have done a very good job. And she will not want you to stop.

The bucking motion of her hips will start to slow down and as this happens, she will want you to slowly and lightly lick her clean. All the mess you just made, I want you to clean it up, softly, deliberately, carefully.. You just did that to her: the leg shaking and the hand-grasping and everything else that comes with making her come, so you should be smiling.

You need to be careful, though — careful and gentle. She will be super sensitive afterward and too much pressure anywhere near her pussy, especially her clit, will drive her insane. It’ll become too much. Too sensitive. No longer enjoyable.

BUT THEN SHE WILL WANT YOU TO HOLD HER.

She will want you to wrap your big arms around her and hold her close. Right there, at that moment, she bared her heart and soul to you. You had everything she had to offer. You had her entire body in your hands, doing the most intimate thing you can do to her, and she let you have it, all of it – the big bang.

But that’s how you give your girl the best head of her life. I hope I’ve given you enough tricks and tips to blow your partner’s mind. Don’t forget to come back and let me know either way!