I am A Difficult Woman – But I love Being A Difficult Woman

Females are secretly celebrated in society for being kind, gentle and delicate, any sign of weakness and a woman is usually taken advantage of. Though I haven’t mastered the art of saying no and standing up for every belief, I am developing the strength of a difficult woman. I’m beginning to stop letting others voice their opinions, I’m growing weary of one-sided friendships. A difficult woman is inspirational. History celebrates women like Marilyn Monroe who fought her studio bosses and Elizabeth I who refused to marry and give away her power. Women who go for want they want and defy anyone who tells them they can’t. It’s the ultimate female empowerment description. Why is it still negative for women to possess such levels of ambition?

Being a difficult woman doesn’t mean I’m not nice or thoughtful. It doesn’t mean I don’t take pleasure in cooking for a man or taking care of them. Growing up quiet and unable to handle confrontation, I felt taken for granted by my closest friends. Going out of my way to visit them, attending their activities when they found excuses for not agreeing to mine.

A couple of years ago, I cancelled out relationships and started putting my thoughts first. I spent my early Teens always worrying about men and whether I’d find a husband and someone willing to love me. Now I realise the shortness of my time and the need to put my dreams first. I am a difficult woman. I’m not 100% there and have a way to go before I master business. Yet I continue to voice my opinions, follow the path I want and not let my natural kindness stand in my way.

I have gone through shit and come out smelling of roses, I have kept my head held high when situations have been tough, I have confronted people who I didn’t think I would ever cross. Being a strong woman does not define who you are!

Difficult women answer back. Difficult women make themselves heard. They don’t back down. They’re loud. They challenge the status quo. They’re not all that easily pleased. They hustle. They’re the ones who get called headstrong (ugh). In men, similar traits are called, variously: ambition, drive, discernment. Think about it. When, pray tell, was the last time you heard a man get called difficult? Being difficult is really “another way of saying female and ‘brave enough to express the full range of one’s humanity.’ ”

Once upon a time, I used to think it was purely a compliment to be called “nice.” “But you’re so nice,” someone might say: “I can’t ever imagine you getting into an argument.” Or, “I can’t ever imagine you having a dark side,” or, “I can’t imagine you writing a book with a murder in it.” I’m sure the people who said it always meant well. But actually what they were doing was putting me into a box. Because society loves its boxes. Women, in particular, are often categorized as one thing or the other. You’re a nice woman. Or you’re . . . difficult.

Difficult women are “ambitious and bold, adventurous and emotional, brainy and defiant, incorrigible and outlandish, determined and badass.” They are about pleasing themselves as much as those around them. They don’t say yes simply because it is expected of them. As a result, they might put a few backs up, but they end up getting what they really want. (As a side note: You can guarantee that difficult women have better sex.)

Really, we should be allowed to be both “nice” and “difficult.” We’re not necessarily one thing or the other—we are all made up of many different and often contradictory, conflicting parts. And it’s definitely true that the world could do with people being a bit nicer to each other. So this isn’t to bash “niceness,” per se—but it is to say don’t be nice at the expense of your sense of self-worth. Difficult women never do that—and that’s why I love them. Because being difficult is also, crucially, about loving yourself.

Self Care Essentials During Lockdown

Hi All, I hope you are well?

With Mental Health being a massive crisis during lockdown, I thought I would gather some self care essentials to help you throughout lockdown. It isn’t for everyone but I promise if you try these, you will be feeling better than what you were and it will help your routine.


Essential oils are a must have self care essential, I mean it says it in the name! I have a few favorite scents and I have come to realize that i associate them all with an activity and what they are meant for.For example, when I am writing blog post I have peppermint and rosemary in my diffuser ready to keep me on task while making my room smell amazing! 


One way that I not only motivate myself but also remind myself of how great I am is by reading inspirational books. I love to read in general, but on my really chill days I love to pick up my book on quotes from great women or affirmations (that I probably should have been saying all week long lol).


If you have not been able to take a GOOD and NICE relaxing bubble bath in a while, you are missing out! Courtesy of the quarantine of 2020 I formed many good habits, bubble baths being one of them. I would listen to music on my speaker, place my mask on and let the aroma of the bath soothe me. This is a must to add to your self care essentials that you simple cannot do with out! It’s super affordable and last forever- seriously I have a bottle from April STILL!


There is no better way to spend your self care day than in your most comfy of clothes which is why I had to include them in the list of self care essentials. Personally, I could wear shorts and a tee but I know for others the clothes have to be top notch. I love comfy, fuzzy socks! There is just something about giving yourself a pedicure, moisturizing and sliding on comfy socks as a finishing touch that make me go “ahhh”.


For guys that have difficulty relaxing even when you have planned time for yourself, this may be most beneficial. The weighted blanket adds that sense of security, anxiety reducing, stress relieving feeling that we all could benefit from.


It is super essential for your self care to have music! Your playlist should include music that is motivating and uplifting.


Okay, okay don’t hurt me but I will not get off of my journal fandom!! I would do you a disservice if I were not to mention this amazing self care essential item. I have many journals I like to use for different reasons. I have one journal for therapy notes, another for thoughts (day to day use) and another for goal setting. I have also used one in the past that was specifically for improving my self care routine.


Invest in some face masks, hair masks, eye masks and foot masks… have a pamper night!

Self care is so important and yet we all fall short of taking the best care of ourselves. Those are some of my tips to help you throughout Lockdown,

Learn To Love Yourself.

Hi Guys,

Now we are heading into the New year, I thought I would write a blog post on How To Love Yourself. Learn to love yourself more when we go into 2021.

Your love will keep you warm on days when everything feels cold, from a cup of hot coffee to your best friend’s touch. It will let you take a break and stop you from being too hard on yourself and make you believe that you are more than your terrible past and failed relationships. Loving yourself will soothe your back gently while you face your fears and not let your anxiety win and buy you an ice-cream on a bad day and applaud at every little step you take forward. 

Your love will keep your heart pumping with happiness and not let any negative thought invade your beautiful mind. When you sing your favourite songs and dance your heart out your eyes shine the brightest. It will make you realise that you are enough and as long as you have your own back, nothing can stop you from conquering the world. Your love will teach you to not be just kind to others but to yourself too. it will tell you how to love right. 

To love yourself the way you love others, You need to follow these steps.

Distance yourself from the people that make you feel like you’re not good enough. You know deep down in your heart if someone isn’t good for you, so live your truth. 

You slowly stop comparing yourself to others. Everyone has their own journey, and you could be comparing your life to someone you know nothing about. Live your own life at your own pace. Live life on your own terms. Remember no one knows what happens behind closed doors.

You learn how to be kind to yourself. Don’t put yourself down. Don’t let one negative thought become the way you feel about yourself. Try your very best to turn a negative into a positive; and watch how quickly your mindset can change. 

You take care of yourself. Go for more walks, or find something that you enjoy, something that makes you feel good about yourself, something that makes you come home to yourself, and try and do it a few times a week. Try to turn toxic habits into new ones that are good for you and your mind. 

You start to deeply think about the people you spend time with. Are they toxic? Do they bring you down? Do you feel like you are worth more than the way they make you feel? It might be time to evaluate the kind of people you are surrounding yourself with and align yourself with people that lift you up and appreciate you. 

You unfollow people on social media that make you feel like you need to look a certain way or you are constantly comparing yourself to. It’s not weak. It’s called seIf-preservation, and it’s powerful. 

You learn how to stand up for yourself. Take control of a situation when you feel like you are being taken advantage of. It might be uncomfortable at first, but once you start to stand up for yourself you will learn to respect yourself so much more over time. 

You understand that loving yourself is a process. It’s not going to happen overnight. Be patient with yourself, and give yourself the time you need to heal and grow to love who you are on the inside and on the outside. Don’t let anyone stand in the way of the person you are becoming.

If you need any more tips you can comment/ email me annonymously.

All my love,

Peace, Love and Gin Xoxox

What I’ve Learnt Being Single & Dating

I’ve changed so much over the last 6 months or however long it’s been since I became single, and the stuff I’ve learnt about not only myself but relationships and life and everything that comes with it has been very much welcomed into my brain that had become a place that thought it was normal to not receive a text for 5 days from my own boyfriend.

I decided to put together a list of what I’ve learnt, and I hope it serves you well, whether you’re in a committed relationship, or you’re in a committed relationship with a bottle of Echo Falls (me).

1) Reliability is Good – When you’re in a toxic, one sided relationship, it’s so draining that you almost try and make yourself think it’s ‘fun’ and ‘exciting’ and it’s a ‘chase’. It’s your way of dealing with it and managing to get through. Throughout the last few months, I have come to realise what’s actually fun and exciting is reliability. Knowing someone likes you and wants to see you, and will tell you that, is so much better and more satisfying than some little prick who only WhatsApps you when he wants something, and yes, that can include someone you’re in a relationship with. Not knowing where you stand with someone isn’t stimulating, but reliability is.

2) It Really Does Happen For a Reason – In the midst of my breakup, I really did think my life was over. I was literally devastated, and could not physically foresee a time where I’d ever feel real happiness again. Little did I know, that breakup would be the best thing that would ever happen to me. It’s taught me to try and look past awful times and situations, because you don’t know the positive things they can actually bring.

3) Game Playing Is Not For Me – I finally got thrown back into the world of dating after being engaged, and all this has taught me is that I really cannot be fucked with game playing. I’m (unfortunately) not a teenager who has years of mistakes to make and time to waste with men who think it’s absolute lols to post pictures of them draped over girls in nightclubs, not text me for 4 working days and have their phone glued to them no matter where they go for fear I might see they’re messaging 280 other females from the general Somerset area. Not texting back for an entire day just to play ‘hard to get’ when you’re a man in his late twenties/early thirties is not something on my agenda anymore huns; they are probably the same men that think periods are disgusting and that ‘natural women’ are best but they still expect flawless skin, long hair and lashes, a perfect tan, big lips, boobs and bum and a tiny waist. Off you fuck Steve.

4) Don’t Take Shit – It’s best to nip any shit in the bud immediately; if it’s really bad then get rid, if it’s rectifiable then a firm warning and one more strike and you’re out rule should do the trick. When you’re single for a while, you get comfortable with yourself and basically make an internal decision that you’re fine by yourself and anyone who’s gonna change that can’t bring any unnecessary stress to your life.

5) Be 100% Yourself – I have changed myself so many times for men. Dressed to please them, worn less makeup, read books I don’t like, watched films I hate, listened to music that I despise, all to impress them, fit into their mould and make them want me. I did it with my exes, and I won’t do it again, because if a relationship is based on false pretences it will never work anyway.  I love music many would describe as ‘shit’, watch cringey films, slather myself in layers of fake tan, swear quite a lot, drink prosecco like there’s about to be a world shortage, and have a blog I document my life on. If Daniel, 23 from Burnham doesn’t like that then it’s his loss because when I stop eating shit, drinking so much, work out and calm down a bit when I drink I’m gonna be an absolute CATCH.

6) If You’re Not Feeling It, Don’t Go There – I’ve gone on dates with people and been speaking to people who are seemingly ‘perfect’ for me, except I am just not feeling it. Everyone around me has been like ‘Oh just go on another date with him!’ or ‘He seems really nice, just see him again and you’ll end up liking him’. What I’ve realised is I literally don’t have to see anyone I don’t want to see, I don’t owe anyone anything, and if it’s not there for me then it’s just not there, which brings me onto my next point…

7) When You Know, You Know – I used to think my feelings of discomfort, or not being sure about somebody, and thinking hopefully they’d start treating me better/change their behaviour were normal and that I’d be 100% sure about them soon. I have learnt over the last few months that you know when someone is right for you and you know if they’re meant to be in your life or not. People ask ‘But how do you know if someone is right for you?’, but you honestly do just know. They slot into your life easily, make you feel comfortable and happy, and you’re content and not stressed from dealing with someones shit all the time.

8) You Deserve More – I think when we’ve gone through months or even years of being treated like shit,we become accustomed to it, we think it’s what we deserve and that it’s normal. We go out looking for people who will continue to treat us like that, to reaffirm our own warped view that we aren’t worthy of normal love. I’ve learnt over the course of the end of last year and the start of this year, that I do deserve someone who doesn’t treat me like a twat, spends time with me, priorities me amongst other things in their life, isn’t wasting my time and genuinely cares about me. I literally reached a point where I was like ‘Nope, no more, if I get together with one more time wasting prick I will move to Kathmandu and take up cross stitching cos I can’t deal with this shit anymore’, and I’ve vowed to keep that promise to myself no matter what.

9) You Don’t Actually Need Anyone – I have realised I really, really don’t need anyone romantically involved in my life unless they benefit it rather than add stress and negativity. If they make me happy and add good things to my life then great, but if not then…bye felicia.

10) Valuing the Experiences – I have gotten to a place where I am glad of all the shit in the past. I’m happy I was cheated on, treated like shit, been called every name under the sun, been dumped – I never thought I would, but it’s made me  away more resilient person, taught me exactly what I don’t want in my life and the kind of people I don’t want, and also given me a much higher sense of self worth. I am so glad it all happened, as it makes you appreciate meeting someone who wouldn’t dream of treating you like that, and it makes you value being out of those truly horrible situations.

I hope you enjoyed this blog post, no matter what your current situation.

Know Your Worth

I wouldn’t classify myself as a hardcore Drake fan but If #DrakeTaughtMe anything, it was something I believed in long before he made it a hot line in a hot song. “Know Yourself, Know Your Worth

In today’s world, many people are having trouble discovering themselves. They are lost and trying to find someone or something to save them from pain, suffering and sorrow. In order for someone to discover self-worth, you must first look within. If you don’t take the initial step, why should you expect anyone to follow and help you?

This process can be lengthy and emotional, however, it’s mandatory if you want to see improvement in this area of your life. Being comfortable with who you are is everything, it’s your personal blueprint and foundation of self-worth. Without knowing exactly who you are, receiving and accepting love and happiness will be challenging. Settling and disappointment will be inevitable.

I have a message for you: Create YOUR own lane. Run YOUR own race. Life is not about keeping up with The Kardashians. Believe in yourself and live the happy life you want without thinking about what others will say or do. They will say regardless.

Peace, Love and Gin xo