I am A Difficult Woman – But I love Being A Difficult Woman

Females are secretly celebrated in society for being kind, gentle and delicate, any sign of weakness and a woman is usually taken advantage of. Though I haven’t mastered the art of saying no and standing up for every belief, I am developing the strength of a difficult woman. I’m beginning to stop letting others voice their opinions, I’m growing weary of one-sided friendships. A difficult woman is inspirational. History celebrates women like Marilyn Monroe who fought her studio bosses and Elizabeth I who refused to marry and give away her power. Women who go for want they want and defy anyone who tells them they can’t. It’s the ultimate female empowerment description. Why is it still negative for women to possess such levels of ambition?

Being a difficult woman doesn’t mean I’m not nice or thoughtful. It doesn’t mean I don’t take pleasure in cooking for a man or taking care of them. Growing up quiet and unable to handle confrontation, I felt taken for granted by my closest friends. Going out of my way to visit them, attending their activities when they found excuses for not agreeing to mine.

A couple of years ago, I cancelled out relationships and started putting my thoughts first. I spent my early Teens always worrying about men and whether I’d find a husband and someone willing to love me. Now I realise the shortness of my time and the need to put my dreams first. I am a difficult woman. I’m not 100% there and have a way to go before I master business. Yet I continue to voice my opinions, follow the path I want and not let my natural kindness stand in my way.

I have gone through shit and come out smelling of roses, I have kept my head held high when situations have been tough, I have confronted people who I didn’t think I would ever cross. Being a strong woman does not define who you are!

Difficult women answer back. Difficult women make themselves heard. They don’t back down. They’re loud. They challenge the status quo. They’re not all that easily pleased. They hustle. They’re the ones who get called headstrong (ugh). In men, similar traits are called, variously: ambition, drive, discernment. Think about it. When, pray tell, was the last time you heard a man get called difficult? Being difficult is really “another way of saying female and ‘brave enough to express the full range of one’s humanity.’ ”

Once upon a time, I used to think it was purely a compliment to be called “nice.” “But you’re so nice,” someone might say: “I can’t ever imagine you getting into an argument.” Or, “I can’t ever imagine you having a dark side,” or, “I can’t imagine you writing a book with a murder in it.” I’m sure the people who said it always meant well. But actually what they were doing was putting me into a box. Because society loves its boxes. Women, in particular, are often categorized as one thing or the other. You’re a nice woman. Or you’re . . . difficult.

Difficult women are “ambitious and bold, adventurous and emotional, brainy and defiant, incorrigible and outlandish, determined and badass.” They are about pleasing themselves as much as those around them. They don’t say yes simply because it is expected of them. As a result, they might put a few backs up, but they end up getting what they really want. (As a side note: You can guarantee that difficult women have better sex.)

Really, we should be allowed to be both “nice” and “difficult.” We’re not necessarily one thing or the other—we are all made up of many different and often contradictory, conflicting parts. And it’s definitely true that the world could do with people being a bit nicer to each other. So this isn’t to bash “niceness,” per se—but it is to say don’t be nice at the expense of your sense of self-worth. Difficult women never do that—and that’s why I love them. Because being difficult is also, crucially, about loving yourself.

Heels And Boobs

I have a job in a nightclub working behind the bar serving customers drinks and bringing out booth packages. I use to be in charge of VIP booths serving arrogant men who thought they were strucking gold upon me by tipping me £20 after 4 hours of leering and making a mess, and occasionally me marching over with a bucket of ice with overprized vodka, with sparklers, and of course I do wear massive heels.

Those can be some of the most traumatic nights, and not because of the gross men; because of the pain I would be in! My feet actually used to bleed, and I’d get home at about 4am with blisters the size of Mars, and swollen feet. I’d hobble to the toilet during my shift and just sit down and take my shoes off, I’m not even joking.

Anyway back to topic, Just a tip for you ladies who love wearing heels this will save your lives! You need to invest in some Gel cushions if you haven’t already, that you can pop under the balls of your feet to bring you a tonne more comfort than wearing heels without anything, and they honestly do work, and they’re so cheap too. If you get painful feet on a night out, or have to wear heels for work, you need these in your life – they have a sticky side too so they won’t slip out.

Now Boobs and Bras….

Basically I’m not a very big person in general (aside from in the bum department, that area doesn’t seem to have an issue in growing!), I’ve always been quite small in height and frame, my build is just generally petite, meaning that I’ve never had big boobs.

Big boobs, small boobs, and every size in between are all beautiful and all sexy and no one should ever tell you differently. I think there are probably a lot of fellow small chested girls out there who feel like they can’t invest in gorgeous, pretty and lovely bras simply because they don’t see the point but I’m here to tell you that you can and you should. So here are the best designed bras for small boobs.

A bra with no padding whatsoever which you may think is a strange choice for a small chest but actually, once you embrace having small boobs you will realise that thin bras with no padding and delicate detailing are actually one of the best choices. They extenuate what you do have and they look gorgeous on. They may not be the best type of bras for a white t shirt but a loose blouse, or just for the bedroom, this is a perfect bra.

Feminine colours and patterns are always complimentary to small boobs especially with a tan; who said pale pink couldn’t be sexy?! The darker pink lace edging frames your boobs and makes them look rounder and more shapely.

The fitted cups and balcony style will hold your boobs better and make the most out of their size. It has a very thin piece of padding but that’s all that is needed; when you have small boobs you tend to think you need a massively padded bra but all that will do is drown your boobs, gape forward at the front and ride up around your chest.

Black is also a really great colour for making it look like you’ve got a little more than you have, and a bow detail in the middle makes the cups and therefore your boobs, stand out more!

A bralet style compliments a small chest SO well, This is so perfect for smaller busted ladies and the moulded cups mean again, they make the most out of what you’ve got.

So there we have it a post on how to handle wearing high heels and what bras will look cute.

Peace, Love and Gin Xo